


I Kissed a Girl

by gingerfic



Series: Bi Blaine AU [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blaine's senior year, Dating, F/M, Finn's death, Grief, Humor, Innuendo, Introspection, Klaine, M/M, Prom, bisexual!blaine, blina, seblaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-14 11:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5742652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingerfic/pseuds/gingerfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once at a high school party Blaine Anderson kissed a girl...and he liked it. A short time later he kissed a boy, and he liked that too. He fell in love with that boy and they were happy together for almost two years.  But when that boy left for college they decided that it would be best to break up.  But being comfortable with his bisexuality may be the simplest part of Blaine's senior year, as he wades back into the world of dating, navigates new kinds of friendships, and tries to figure out what it means to become an adult.</p><p>An alternate version of Blaine Anderson's senior year, incorporating many events from seasons 4 and 5a but making them...Blanier.</p><p>Written for the Blaine Anderson Big Bang. MANY thanks to my betas <a href="http://klaineitupanotch.tumblr.com/">klaineitupanotch</a> and <a href="http://flowerfan2.tumblr.com/">flowerfan</a>, and a huge round of applause to <a href="http://47mel47.tumblr.com/">47mel47</a> for making <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaIk3DFsKU4&feature=youtu.be">this amazing video</a> as a trailer for this fic</p><p> </p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Kissed a Girl (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> This is Blaine’s story. There is some Klaine in it, but it’s not Klaine-centric, so don’t expect that.

_Blaine hung up his phone, a quirky half-grin on his face, and told Kurt that Rachel had just asked him on a date._

_“Wait, why did you say yes? You can’t lead her on.”_

_“Who says I’m leading her on?”_

_Kurt’s eyes grew wide with disbelief and he pursed his lips with judgment. “Blaine, you’re gay.”_

_“I dunno, maybe I’m bi.”_

_“What? No, Blaine. Bisexuality is just something gay boys say when they want to hold hands with a girl and fit in with the heteronormative masses.”_

_Blaine slammed his coffee cup down on the table. “No, Kurt. I can't believe that you--of all people--would say something so phobic and intolerant." He gritted his teeth and took a deep breath to try to keep himself from yelling. "I just came out to you. I just told you that I actually don’t know for sure what my orientation is. I know I like boys. I realized that years ago. And since I liked boys then I assumed that I was gay. I hadn’t been attracted to a girl before, but you know, now I kind of am. Kissing Rachel at the party the other night felt good, and--”_

_“It felt good because of the alcohol,” Kurt interrupted._

_“Maybe,” Blaine agreed. “But maybe it wasn’t. Maybe we had a real connection. And I’m not going to be able to find out unless I let myself try some things.”_

_“So you’re going on a date with Rachel?”_

_“Yes, I’m going on a date with Rachel.”_

_Kurt took a deep breath, and looked like he wanted to say something else, but he bit his tongue._

_“Ok.”_

_Blaine knew that Kurt had a crush on him, but by some unspoken mutual agreement they never talked about it. He knew that was probably the real reason Kurt was so upset, but right now he was pretty upset himself, and not feeling very sympathetic._

_“I’m sorry, Kurt,” Blaine said in a tone that was more sarcasm than apology. “I know it’s meant a lot to you to have a gay friend, so I imagine this is unsettling for you to hear me say that I’m not sure about my orientation.”_

_“A bit.” Kurt took a long slow sip of his coffee._

_“If you think it’s confusing for you, imagine how it feels for me!”_

_Kurt offered him a half smile but still looked upset._

_“Hey, I’m still me!” Blaine reached his hand across the table, and when Kurt gingerly took it Blaine gave him a squeeze. “We’re going to be friends regardless of who either of us is dating, right?”_

_Kurt couldn’t keep in the sigh. “Right.”_

* * *

 

If only they had both known at the time how the situation would end up, the whole conversation might have gone a little more smoothly. To Blaine’s relief, Kurt seemed to understand that Blaine was genuinely trying to follow his heart, and he responded to Blaine’s dating Rachel with remarkable grace. Blaine went out with Rachel three times over the next month, but after the last one he came straight to Kurt’s Dalton dorm room when he got home.

“Kurt!”

Kurt was lying on his bed with books and papers strewn around him as he studied. He looked up as Blaine burst into the room. “Hey. So, uh, how was it?”

“I need to tell you something.”

Kurt nodded, pushing his books aside and sitting up. He patted the bed beside him.

“I have figured some things out…” Blaine began, suddenly feeling awkward and a little shy. He sat on the bed, his posture a little too stiff and his legs pressed tightly together while his hands rubbed nervously on his knees. For a moment he almost chickened out; but no, Kurt was his best friend. Blaine could do this. He didn’t need to be shy or scared. Kurt was going to accept whatever he said.

He looked up and found Kurt looking at him expectantly.

“So, I was out with Rachel again tonight,” Blaine tried again. Kurt nodded.

“And we were…” Blaine looked straight at Kurt. He knew Kurt liked him, so he wasn’t going to like hearing this part, but it was kind of important. “When I dropped her off at her house, we were kissing goodnight.”

Kurt breathed in sharply, but he kept silent.

“I liked it, Kurt. I liked it a lot. It was...you know..." Blaine paused at the awkwardness of what he was saying. "It was _working_ for me." He hesitated another moment before declaring. “I’m definitely bisexual.”

Kurt looked like he was fighting to keep quiet, with multiple expressions sliding across his face in a matter of moments.

“But,” Blaine pushed on. “I told her that I don’t want to go out with her anymore.”

“You what?”

Oh, yeah, this was getting to the good part, and Kurt definitely had not seen it coming. Blaine shifted his body so that he was facing Kurt more, and reached out to grab Kurt’s hand.

“I told Rachel that I don’t want to go out with her anymore, because even though we had fun, and she’s beautiful, and I like her...well, there’s someone else I like more.”

“Someone else you like more,” Kurt repeated softly staring at their joined hands as the realization dawned.

“Someone else I would rather be dating. If he’ll have me after all the angst I’ve put him through.”

“Someone else,” Kurt echoed again, his eyes slowly rising to meet Blaine’s.

“There was a moment for me tonight, Kurt. Rachel was talking--a lot--about how good it was that we had all these different things in common, because we could be friends as well as girlfriend-boyfriend. And I just realized that there was someone else who was already my best friend.” He squeezed Kurt’s hand for emphasis, and scooted closer on the bed.

Time seemed to still and Blaine noticed a thousand tiny details, like the way that Kurt’s breathing had sped up, or the flecks of green in his otherwise blue eyes, or the way that his mouth had fallen open just slightly.

“In that moment I realized that I had wasted so much time waiting for a dream, when you’ve been here in front of me all along. I don’t know why I didn’t see you that way before. But I do now, Kurt.” Blaine watched Kurt’s face carefully as he leaned in and touched their foreheads together. “I do now,” he whispered, his breath mixing with Kurt’s at this proximity. “And I want to be--”

Blaine never finished his sentence, because their mouths connected then, and Blaine knew that this was the person he really wanted to be kissing. It wasn't about what the person had on the outside, it was about who they were on the inside. And he was in love with Kurt.


	2. This Was Never The Way I Planned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes some canon events from early season 4 (approximately August-October), but I took artistic liberties with timelines.

_ “We talked about this, Blaine,” Kurt said again, taking Blaine’s hand and stroking softly across the back of it. “It’s the best thing.” _

_ “Well maybe it sounded like a good idea at the time.” Blaine sniffled from where he sat, beside Kurt on the bed. “But now it sounds like a really horrible idea.” _

_ “I’m going to be in New York, working and hopefully soon I’ll be going to school as well. And you’re here, and it’s your senior year. Neither of us has the time to try to maintain a long distance relationship. It’s better for us to end things. _

_ “Sometimes what sounds like a good idea beforehand is actually not such a good idea.” _

_ “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be,” Kurt’s voice caught in his throat. “I love you, Blaine, and in a year you’ll probably be coming to New York too. That’s what we’ve talked about… Who knows what might happen then. But for now, let’s give each other the space to be ourselves, without the stress of--” _

_ “I know, I know,” Blaine nodded and sniffed again. “I just, you’ve been so much of my life for so long, I don’t know if I remember how to be without you.” _

_ “I know, I know,” Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine’s shoulders and pulled him close. Blaine’s arms snaked naturally around Kurt’s waist. “This is really hard for me too. But it’s not like we’re losing each other. We’ll still be friends and keep in touch…”  _

_ “We just won’t have to worry about the complication of being boyfriends, I know,” Blaine wiped his face with his hands as though he could hide the evidence of the tear streaks there. “I know we talked about this a lot before we made the decision. I’m just going to miss you so much…” _

_ Kurt leaned over and gently kissed Blaine’s forehead. “Please don’t cry. Tears are so hard on your skin…” _

_ Blaine started to laugh. Trust Kurt to be worried about his complexion at a moment like this. _

_ “Well, can I at least,” Blaine pulled back slightly, and didn’t even try to hide the fact that he was looking back and forth between Kurt’s mouth and his eyes. _

_ Kurt leaned in without hesitation. _

_ Their goodbye kiss was a little salty, but all the sweeter because of it. They knew that this kiss wouldn’t lead to anything else, but also that it was still a promise. A promise of enduring fond affection that didn’t go away just because they said they were broken up now. A promise of remembering all that they had been to each other, and all that they still were.  _

_ “I love you,” Blaine whispered. _

_ “I love you too,” Kurt whispered back. _

* * *

“Dude, it’s been like, a month since Kurt left,” Sam chided him at their lockers one day. “Don’t you think it’s about time you got over it a little bit?”

“He’s the love of my life, Sam,” Blaine reminded his friend, just like he did every time Sam tried to give him this spiel. “You don’t just get over the love of your life.”

“You guys broke up though.”

“Yeah, I know, but it’s just temporary. We’re going to get back together when I get to New York. This was just to simplify things for now.” Blaine nodded confidently and grinned, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. Not anymore. And he knew Sam could see it.

“What if he meets some--” Sam was cut off as Blaine clapped a hand over his friend’s mouth.

“Don’t say that!” Blaine hissed. “I can’t think that way!”

“Uh, Blaine, he’s in New York City. You’re here for another year--”

“Ten and a half months.”

Sam nodded. “Ten and a half months, yeah. So, I mean, I’m not great at math, but I’m pretty sure that adds up to him having a good chance of--”

“Ohmygod, Finn, what happened?” Blaine forgot for a moment that Finn wasn’t a student here anymore, and instinctively stepped away from the lockers to intercept him. Finn was walking down the crowded hallway with a dazed look on his face. Finn had the advantage of height to protect him if he didn’t pay attention to his surroundings in a crowd, but Blaine had learned early on that the only way to be safe in a hallway was to be alert, and it was instinct to protect his friend.

“She met someone,” Finn sighed.

“What?” Sam looked confused.

“I went to New York this weekend to surprise Rachel,” Finn said.

“And was she surprised?” Sam asked cheerily.

“Yep,” Finn nodded a little too hard. “She was definitely surprised that I got there to find her making out with another guy.

Blaine and Sam spoke in unison this time. “Ouch!”

* * *

“So, was she actually making out with that guy when Finn arrived?” Blaine was halfheartedly doing his homework but the skype window was open to Kurt, and they were talking about a little bit of everything.

Kurt gave an exasperated sigh, as though this were not the first time he’d had to explain this. “Ok, you know I love my brother.”

Blaine nodded, and tapped the top of his pencil against his chin as he contemplated the atomic weight of table salt.

“But he broke up with Rachel last spring, and then he went into the military and nobody had seen him in four months. It’s not cheating if they weren’t together to begin with.”

“But she didn’t want to break up; he pushed her into it.”

“All the more reason for him to not be mad that she’s moved on,” Kurt shrugged. “And look, I live with her, and she’s definitely over that break up. She loves it in New York and once she actually got here I don’t think she really looked back.”

“How are you liking New York?” Blaine asked, hoping to change the subject to something that...didn’t hit quite so close to home.

“Oh it’s great!” Kurt beamed. “I told you I got this job at Vogue.com, right? And my boss, Isabel, she’s just amazing. She even helped me do a makeover for Rachel!”

“That’s cool,” Blaine’s voice lacked enthusiasm, but he didn’t have the energy to fake it anymore.

“Yeah, it…” Kurt stopped mid-sentence as he watched Blaine in the video monitor. “Blaine, what’s eating at you?

“I just miss you,” Blaine blinked hard and tried to smile. “So much.”

“Awww, I miss you too.” 

Blaine could hear some yelling from somewhere in Kurt’s apartment, and a moment later Rachel burst into the frame. Kurt turned around for a moment to talk to her before returning his attention to Blaine.

“Hey, Blaine, I gotta go. Rachel needs... a thing. But I’ll talk to you next week.” He flashed a quick grin and then ended the call.

Blaine watched the screen go black, but continued to sit and stare for another minute before he moved. When he spoke, his voice was only a whisper.

“You don’t miss me the same way I miss you.”

* * *

“I have the answer!” Sam announced triumphantly in mid October. 

“I already know the answer, it’s forty-two,” Blaine deadpanned.

“Ha,” Sam laughed at that joke every time. “That may be the answer to life, the universe, and everything; but I have the answer for you being lonely all the time!”

Blaine leaned against the wall and rolled his eyes. “You can’t make me stop missing him, Sam.”

“I know, but I can help you be so busy that you won’t have time to notice it!” And with that Sam grabbed Blaine’s shoulders and pointed him down the hallway, walking with him until they had stopped in front of the clubs bulletin board.

“Join clubs!”

_ “ Future Farmers of America, _ _” Blaine read off one of the nearest flyers. “_ _Welding Club, Jews for Jesus…_ _ ” _

“ _Mathletes, Chess Club, Zombie Apocalypse Preppers,_ _ ”  _ Sam said, pointing to each flyer. “And don’t forget the best of all, right here!” He stepped back and held out his hands to accentuate it, Vanna White style.

_ “The Superhero Club ,”  _ Blaine read aloud. _ “Develop your power to face your foes. Club members are expected to wear costumes to club meetings.” _ Blaine felt the lopsided grin spread across his face. “That’s pretty awesome,” he admitted. “Will you go with me?”

Sam grinned. “Duh!”

* * *

 

 

“So who is this Finn guy,” Jake asked Blaine as they were packing up after glee one afternoon. “And why is he helping run the school musical?”

“Um, he was one of our lead singers last year.”

Jake scrunched up his face. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?!” Jake looked extremely confused. “I mean, he seems nice, but I only saw him walk across a room and I can already tell that he can’t dance.”

“He was dating our female lead--”

“Oooooh,” Jake nodded. “So that’s what it takes to play a leading man around here, huh?”

“Well, not exactly…” Blaine wasn’t sure how to explain the complexities of who got preferential treatment in the New Directions. Actually Blaine wasn’t sure if he understood it himself. He’d been lucky enough to land in a leading man role last year as well as this year, and he knew perfectly well that it had nothing to do with who he had been dating...

Blaine was startled out of his reverie by Jake clearing his throat. “Ok, well, break a leg at auditions I guess. Not that you need it.” He made a formal bow as he backed down the hallway.

“You too,” Blaine called after him. 

* * *

A few days later Blaine made his way to the green room to wait for his turn to audition. Several other people were there already, and Tina practically flew into his arms the moment he came through the door. 

“Icantdoit Icantdoit ohmygodBlaine whatamIgonnado?”

“Tina? What are you talking about?” Blaine grabbed his friend’s shoulders and pushed her back just a little so that he could look into her face.

“Finn brought Mike to help with the choreography for the play, and I was going to audition for ChaCha because that role is all about the dancing,” Tina was blubbering and gesturing wildly. “And let’s be honest I’m a really good dancer--but I can’t work with him. Not when we just broke up less than two months ago.”

“Tina!” Blaine shook her a little and her eyes snapped up to him.

“What?”

He pulled her over to a chair, made her sit down, and then held her hands and her eye contact. “Breathe with me, ok? In, two, three, four; out, two, three, four…” After a few minutes she was much calmer and had stopped the word vomit. 

“Thanks Blainey-days,” Tina sighed. “I just really miss him, you know? We were together for more than two years, and I’m not used to not being with him.”

Blaine nodded and pulled her close, stroking his hand up and down her back as he held her. “Yeah, I know how you feel.”

Tina suddenly sat up straight. “Oh god I’m probably totally reminding you of Kurt, huh. I’m sorry Blaine,” and she burst into tears and collapsed into his arms again.

“Hey, shhh, it’s ok,” Blaine soothed. “Look, I’ve gotta do my audition, but I’ll be back in here soon, and then we can go get coffee, ok?”

“How about ice cream?” Tina asked hopefully.

“Coffee flavored ice cream?”

“Deal!”

* * *

“So, um, how did your audition go?” Tina asked, trying to make small talk as they settled in at a little table. Blaine knew she could tell that something was different than it had been before the audition, but she was being nice and not prying directly. Tina was his friend though, so he decided to tell her anyway.

“Artie wanted to give me Danny Zuko on the spot,” Blaine said. 

“Oh that’s great!”

“No, it’s really not.” Blaine sighed, and knew that he probably sounded as pathetic as he felt.

“Why not?!” Tina grabbed his hand on the table and squeezed uncomfortably hard.

“Because that’s a romantic lead, and I’m not even over my own break-up, and I’m going to be an emotional mess if I try to play a part like that right now.” He threw his hands up in the air. “I’d probably start crying in the middle of a performance or something.”

“So here we are then,” Tina mused, taking a large spoonful of ice cream and savoring it slowly. “Two star performers,” she glared at Blaine, “you know we are. Two star performers sidelined by break-ups.”

Blaine shrugged miserably.

“Well, it may be too late for us to change it for this show, but let’s make a pact.”

“What kind of pact?”

“For the rest of the year, we’ve got each other’s backs, Blaine. And we are not going to let each other shy away from being stars just because we miss some boys.”

She held out her hand and Blaine took it and shook.

“To stardom, and moving on, and best friends instead of boyfriends.”

Blaine couldn’t help but smile as he repeated after her. “To stardom, and moving on, and best friends instead of boyfriends.”

 


	3. Just Wanna Try You On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> October/November

Blaine parked his car in the familiar lot and put the Prius into park. He paused for a moment, hands still on the wheel as he stared out of the window at the impressive structures that were Dalton Academy, and smiled a little nostalgically. He had always loved this place. He had never regretted leaving, but he did miss it.

Blaine shook his head and pulled the key out of the ignition. Today he was here on a mission: the New Directions’ nationals trophy was missing, and Blaine had a feeling that someone here would know something about it. He climbed out of the car, straightened his sweater vest, and went inside.

Someone was waiting for him at the bottom of the main staircase.

“Sebastian. Of course it was you.”

“No it wasn’t, I swear!” Sebastian’s voice still had that sassy flavor, but it wasn’t as cruel as it had once been. Blaine hardly noticed though as Sebastian went on. “I turned over a new leaf, remember? No more bullying, blackmail, or assault this year.”

Blaine side-eyed his former friend for a moment before deciding to go with sarcasm. “Well that must be boring for you.”

Sebastian fell into step beside him easily, with his hands in his pockets and his stride light. “Yeah it is. Being nice sucks.” He shrugged in that loose, casual way he had. “Anyway, I’ll take you to him.”

“Take me to who?” Blaine asked.

“Well, I didn’t take your trophy, but I know who did.”

Blaine stopped in his tracks and stared at Sebastian. “What?”

Sebastian’s hands flew into the air in a defensive gesture. “I told you it wasn’t me, and it wasn’t. It wasn’t my idea to take the trophy, and I’m not the one who did it. But,” a cocky smile spread across his face. “I do know who did it, and I know where he is.” 

Blaine just waited.

“His name is Hunter. He’s the captain of the Warblers.”

Blaine cocked an eyebrow. “I thought you were the captain of the Warblers.”

“Things change,” Sebastian murmured, and Blaine thought he saw a flash of something else streak through the other boy’s green eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it had come.”

“And you’re telling me--betraying one of your own--because why?”

Sebastian shrugged and that little smile crept out again. “I have my reasons.”

Blaine waited again, but Sebastian didn’t offer anything further, so finally Blaine nodded once. “Well then, lead on.”

* * *

Hunter was not what Blaine had expected. Or maybe he was everything that Blaine had expected. He had the pride Blaine expected in a Dalton boy, and the cool haughtiness that Blaine had seen in more than a few of his wealthy classmates there. But the Warblers had always had a friendly team-mentality, and Hunter was different. It was immediately obvious that he was a dictator--not in the benevolent way that Wes had been, nor in the snarky way that Sebastian had been--but in a malevolent way that inspired fear and obedience rather than love or loyalty.

Blaine didn’t like him. He also didn’t like that Hunter seemed to assume that Blaine would want to drop everything at McKinley and come back to Dalton.

“I heard you only went there to be with Kurt,” Hunter’s voice oozed pretentiousness. “In fact, I heard they even call you Blaine Warbler. So why are you there? Come back here where you belong.”

Blaine was disgusted with Hunter’s shmoozing. He would have walked out on the spot if not for the fact that just then Sebastian spoke up: softer and gentler, and far more compelling.

“We know who you are Blaine. Ambitious, driven: you’re a Dalton boy.”

It made him stop. It made him think. It made him hesitate long enough to find himself wearing a Dalton blazer and singing along with his old friends, and oh, something about that felt so natural and right.

Blaine easily fell into step with the other Warblers as though he hadn’t been away for a year. Shoulder to shoulder, with simple footwork and complex harmonies. It felt familiar. It felt comfortable.

It felt like home.

And at every step, at every turn, he noticed Sebastian watching him. Not brashly coming on to him the way he had last year, but just watching, smiling, and holding eye contact for just a moment too long every time.

When the song ended Blaine found himself surrounded by Warblers, with Hunter and Sebastian right next to him on either side.

“What’d I tell you.” Sebastian breathed softly.  “He’s flawless.”

Hunter nodded, but Blaine was already slipping off the blazer to hand back to them. “Thanks for the trip down memory lane guys, but I’m not a Warbler anymore.

“Keep it,” Hunter urged. “It’s already yours.”

“I don’t--”

“Just think about it,” Sebastian said, catching his gaze and holding it. “Please?”

Blaine nodded automatically.

* * *

“I don’t know, Sam,” Blaine tried to explain to his friend as they put their books away at the end of the day. “I have friends here--best friends really. And I would feel guilty about abandoning you all when I know the glee club is short on members already. But I can’t help thinking about it.”

“To be a spy, right?” Sam winked at him. “Because Sectionals is just a few weeks away, and you’re going to slide in there and sabotage everything before coming back here.” He made a gesture that was probably supposed to demonstrate sabotage but Blaine couldn’t make any sense of it.

“Uh, no, I’m thinking about transferring,” Blaine repeated. “Going back to Dalton to graduate. I have more history at Dalton than I do here, and it’s more…” he fumbled for a word and finally settled on “...comfortable.”

“You can’t just run away,” Sam declared. “Whatever it is, you have to man up and deal with it.”

Blaine sighed. “What if I can’t? What if every hallway in this school is too full of memories of Kurt? And the choir room, and the auditorium…” he trailed off, remembering a particular moment on that stage a year ago when his and Kurt’s relationship had changed forever. “I don’t want to run away,” Blaine said, slumping into the lockers behind him. “I just don’t know if I can handle staying here. We are three months into this school year and I still am distracted by thinking about him every day here. Maybe it would be better for me to go back to Dalton.”

“Kurt was with you at Dalton too,” Sam pointed out. “I think you’re just making excuses.”

"I had friends at Dalton before Kurt though," Blaine reminded him. "Everyone that I know here I basically met through Kurt or because of him. It's not the same at all."

“No,” Sam insisted, holding up a finger between them as though to accentuate his point. “You love Kurt and you miss him and that’s not going to just go away, no matter where you are. Switching schools is a big thing--especially mid-year--and you and I know that better than anyone. You might miss Kurt more here,” he gestured around the hallway, “but there would be things to dislike at Dalton too.”

“Like what.”

“Like that Hunter guy? He’s, like, Doctor Evil with hair.”

Blaine couldn’t help smiling and nodding a little at the astute comparison.

“And what about Sebastian? I know you were friends for a while but wouldn’t it be weird to have to see him every day after that whole rock salt slushie thing last year?”

“Sebastian never wanted to hurt  _ me _ ,” Blaine said softly.

“Doesn’t that make it worse?”

“And he isn’t like that anymore anyway.”

“If you say so.” Sam shut his locker noisily. “Anyway, I gotta get to swim practice, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Blaine nodded as Sam took off down the hall. “See you tom--” his train of thought was interrupted by his phone buzzing in his pocket. He looked down to see an incoming call from Sebastian.  _ Well speak of the devil. _

“Hello?”

“Hi Blaine. How are you?” Sebastian asked. He sounded oddly stilted.

“I’m fine, I guess.”

“Have you been thinking about Dalton?”

“Yeah, kinda…” Blaine hedged. “But I don’t really wanna talk about it right now.”

“Right, ok,” Sebastian didn’t push it. Instead he abruptly changed the subject. “I was wondering if you’re doing anything Friday night?”

“Like tomorrow Friday?” Blaine asked, mentally facepalming because, duh, of course he meant tomorrow Friday. “Um, no, I don’t think so…”

“I’d like to take you out to dinner,” Sebastian said quickly. “If that’s alright.”

Blaine hoped his gasp was hushed enough that Sebastian wouldn’t hear it or tease him about it.

“I mean,” Sebastian blabbered on, apparently unable to let there be silence between them. “I know I kept trying to ask you out last year, and you were with Kurt, and it was weird… but, I think everything is different now. Except that I still want to ask you out.”

“Sure, ok,” Blaine blurted. “Yes.”

“Yes?” Blaine could hear the smile in Sebastian’s voice. “Really? You’ll come?”

“Yes,” Blaine couldn’t help a smile. “Yes, I’ll go to dinner with you.”

* * *

Blaine was anxious all day thinking about it: he was going on a date. A date with someone who wasn’t Kurt. Yeah, he had done a little casual dating before getting together with Kurt, but it had been so long since he had been out with anyone else and it felt...weird. He knew it wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t cheating. He and Kurt had broken up; they had both agreed that it was better to do that. But it had only been a couple of months, and somewhere inside himself Blaine still felt weird about it. 

It wasn’t a rebound, was it? One date didn’t constitute a rebound. Besides, he and Sebastian were friends. And technically Sebastian hadn’t even said it was a date. He had just said dinner. Two friends could go out to dinner together, couldn’t they? Blaine had done that lots of times with other friends. 

Well, ok, he had done that lots of times with...Kurt. 

Pretty much only Kurt. 

Oh god this was a rebound.

Blaine straightened his bow tie one more time, checked his reflection front and back, and headed out the door. 

For a date. 

With Sebastian Smythe.

* * *

 

Dinner was nice. 

Really nice, actually.

Sebastian had insisted on taking Blaine to an authentic French place in Columbus, and the food was amazing. But so was the company. Sebastian was different from Kurt--so very different--but he was similar to Blaine in some ways that Kurt had never been. Sebastian’s lacrosse stories and other athletic ventures led Blaine to share some anecdotes about his early attempts at boxing, and they both laughed heartily. His family was more similar to Blaine’s too: they had lots of money for their children but not much time. They both had been in private lessons for music, sports and etiquette before being sent to private prep schools (it was somewhat of a wonder that Blaine’s parents had even allowed him to go to McKinley--if his father hadn’t been in Europe at the time he probably never would have talked his mother into it). Sebastian and Blaine bonded over the fact that they were both expected to go to expensive private colleges and get degrees in ‘reputable’ fields like law or medicine, and that they both already knew they were going to disappoint their families by pursuing the arts instead.

“It’s ironic, that it doesn’t matter how upper crust or how blue collar your family is, they never seem to think that the arts are a viable career choice,” Blaine mused.

“To disappointing our families,” Sebastian said, holding out his glass.

Blaine laughed and clinked his glass against his date’s. “To disappointing our families.”

Blaine knew he shouldn’t be comparing Sebastian to Kurt, but some part in the back of his brain kept doing it anyway. He’d been with Kurt for a long time, and he couldn’t help it. Sebastian had a quick wit and a sharp tongue that he used to judge everyone (just like Kurt). He had careful manners and discriminating taste (just like Kurt). Sebastian chatted amiably with the waitress, calling her by her first name and flirting the whole time (which was very different from Kurt), and then he left her a huge tip (Blaine didn’t mean to look but he couldn’t help noticing). Well, well, well, Sebastian Smythe had a soft side after all.

On the drive back to where he lived, Blaine found himself chatting with Sebastian as comfortably as he did with any of his other friends, and the time passed quickly.

“I’m glad we did this,” Blaine confessed as Sebastian pulled up in front of his house to drop him off. “I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, after all of our…” he gestured back and forth between them.

“I’m glad we did this too,” Sebastian said, parking the car and then turning to face him. “I’ve wanted to for a really, really long time.”

“I know,” Blaine looked down, clasping and unclasping his hands awkwardly in his lap. 

“But my timing was completely wrong before,” Sebastian went on. “And I shouldn’t have been pushy with you like I was. It was mostly for show--you do know that, don’t you? I felt like I had to prove something...”

“Yeah,” Blaine nodded. Sebastian had been an entitled snob and a sore loser with a vicious tongue, but when he’d seen the kinds of real damage he was doing he had had a change of heart. Blaine had seen it in those weeks and months after Regionals last year, and he knew it was genuine, even though no one else at McKinley had believed it.

“Blaine,” Sebastian said softly, and his voice was closer than Blaine had expected. He looked back up to find his date leaning over the gearshift. Their eyes met for a long moment and Blaine leaned in slowly.

His entire body tingled as their lips met; he had forgotten what a first kiss felt like (it had been so long since he had had one). Maybe it was just hormones, but there was something exciting and a little bit magical about it all the same. 

Sebastian pressed in slightly and Blaine pressed back. Sebastian’s lips were wide and thin, but they were warm and sweet and tasted slightly of cinnamon and espresso. He kissed more gently than Blaine had expected, (and he was a little surprised to realize that he’d had an expectation in the first place).  


Sebastian’s hands were on the sides of Blaine’s face now, and his fingers were long--so long. His thumb slid along the shell of Blaine’s ear, and how had Blaine never realized that that was a  _ thing _ for him? It was weird to kiss someone new after so long of having only kissed one person. Everything felt...different. It wasn’t good, or bad, it was just that the differentness of it all made the kisses feel fresh and exciting in a way that mere kissing hadn’t felt in a very long time.

Blaine pulled back just slightly to catch his breath, and Sebastian pulled back too, squinting at Blaine with question in his eyes for just a moment before apparently finding the answer he needed and leaning in again.

This time Sebastian slipped his tongue out to slide along Blaine’s lower lip, and Blaine didn’t hesitate to return the favor. He wrapped his arms around Sebastian’s shoulders (cursing the stupid stickshift between them) and pulled him in as tightly as he could.  


Blaine had no idea how long they kissed. Long enough to chap his lips, fog up the car windows, and lose track of the taste of anything except for just Sebastian’s mouth; but short enough that Blaine’s mother hadn’t started calling his cell phone to ask where he was. (Although, in fairness, he had told her he might be late, and she wasn’t always the most attentive person when it came to noticing what time it was.) Still, it was well into the night when Blaine finally let go of Sebastian and pulled away, shifting back into the center of his own seat and sighing slightly. The car had cooled while they had been parked, and a chill crept in at the edges of the windows that made Blaine shiver now that he wasn't too distracted to notice.  


“I’m sorry,” Sebastian whispered, and Blaine looked over to meet his gaze.

“Sebastian, you don’t have to--”

“I mean, I’m not sorry that I kissed you,” Sebastian hurriedly corrected. “Because I have wanted to do that forever, and this was probably the only chance I will ever get. But I know that you’re still in love with Kurt.”

“Sebastian, I--”

“It’s ok,” Sebastian went on, not letting Blaine speak just yet. “I knew it when I asked you out but I did it anyway because I like you. I know you’re not ready to move on, and I know that maybe you never will be. You and Kurt, that was something special. I knew that as soon as I saw you together. And next year when you’re in the same place again you’re probably going to end up together again because you’re  _ that _ couple.”

“Sebastian,” Blaine tried again.

“So,” Sebastian interrupted again, suddenly slipping into his cocky drawl. “What do you say we go get your trophy back?”

“What?”

“Hey, I have a key,” Sebastian shrugged and grinned. “I might as well make good use of it.”

* * *

And so they drove all the way back to Westerville.  


Blaine had been thinking about taking Sam to go sneak into Dalton to retrieve the trophy, but he had to admit that this was better. Without a key Blaine would have had to rely on sneaking in in broad daylight and trying to hide in the crowds--not an easy feat at a school where most people knew him. But right now? After hours and in the dark?

Sebastian gently turned the key and they both heard the lock turn over before he grasped the handle and gently opened the door.

“And here we are,” Sebastian whispered grandly, gesturing to the cabinet at the far end of the room.

Blaine crossed the room and gently opened the glass door of the case, lifting out McKinley’s trophy and then carefully closing the case again with a soft click.

“I’m not sure if this makes you a good person or a bad one,” Blaine whispered with a glance around the familiar room.

Sebastian smirked. “I guess it depends who you’re asking.”

Blaine paused at the door as he remembered something. “Um, I don’t have my car here, and Lima is an hour and a half away.”

“That’s why I’m driving you,” Sebastian said nonchalantly, ushering him outside and then carefully closing and relocking the door behind them. 

They gently laid the trophy in the back seat of Sebastian’s car, and Sebastian had just closed the door when Blaine impulsively pushed up on tiptoe and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. 

“Thanks Sebastian. For everything.”

“You’re welcome. Anytime.”

* * *

Sectionals was unbelievable. The New Directions sang “Gangnam Style”  _ in Korean _ of all things, but then before anyone could get too blown away Marley had fainted and everyone had rushed off the stage to take care of her. They had forfeited the competition because of it, and as Blaine watched Hunter accept the Sectionals trophy he couldn’t help but wonder if he had made the right choice in staying at McKinley. Then he caught Sebastian looking at him, and they shared a small smile. 

Nope. Blaine belonged at McKinley now. He had loved Dalton, and sometimes he missed it, but it wasn’t home anymore. He had tried on the idea for a few days but it hadn’t been as satisfactory as he had expected it to be. 

And Sebastian, he hadn’t been what Blaine had expected either. He wasn’t a rebound exactly, because he wasn’t going to be a boyfriend. But going out with him had been a good experience, Blaine decided. It had been good to loosen up a little and spend time with someone new. The date had been really good, and the way it ended… Blaine hadn’t planned on making out with Sebastian, but when it happened he had enjoyed every second of it.

Maybe that’s what his senior year should be: not a time for moping, but a time for trying new things. He would see Kurt next month at Christmas, and in less than a year he would be moving to New York with him (or near him anyway). Kurt was spending this year living in the city, and he was going to grow and change. It would be good for Blaine to grow too. He wasn’t sure yet exactly what that meant, but he decided that there was no time like the present to figure it out.

* * *

“I don’t know what we’re supposed to do now,” Blaine whined to Tina. (If someone had called him out about it he would have said he wasn’t whining, but he was, and he knew it.)

“Sue always threatens to shut down the Glee Club,” Tina whispered back. “But I didn’t think she’d actually do it.”

“I mean, I have other clubs, but none of them have the camaraderie that we get in Glee,” Blaine continued. 

“One does,” Tina countered.

Blaine stared at her for nearly a full minute before he realized what she meant.

“Oh no, no, we couldn’t.”

Tina shrugged. “Why not?”


	4. Hard to Resist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> December through January (coinciding with events from episodes 8-12 of season 4).  
> Content warning for brief discussion of Blaine’s prior Sadie Hawkins experiences.

The screen flickered a few times before the video feed came through clearly.

“Hey,” Blaine said brightly.

“Hi,” Kurt grinned. “So what’s this you were saying about joining another club? Aren’t you in like twenty already?”

“Twenty-four,” Blaine corrected. But yes, since Sue closed down Glee I was really missing performing, you know? So we took a page out of your book and joined Cheerios.”

“We?” Kurt raised an eyebrow.

“Tina and I.”

“Ah,” Kurt nodded. “Well, try to stay on Sue’s good side. If she feels like she owes you something then she will move mountains for you. But if you offend her you will never recover from it.”

“Noted.”

* * *

It was discouraging when the Cheerios took over the choir room, but Blaine tried to make the best of it. Sue seemed to regard him as Kurt 2.0, but then got frustrated when he was neither as flexible nor as flamboyant as his ex.

“At least she knows your name,” Finn told him one afternoon in early December. “I get called Frankenteen and Gigantor and All-left-feet Wonderboy.”

“Really?”

“Sue isn’t fond of me,” Finn said seriously. “I don’t know how she picks her favorites, but she definitely does.” He paused for a few moments before adding softly. “I wonder if she still thinks I’m the one who got Quinn pregnant...that might explain some--”

Blaine cleared his throat. “So, have you talked to Kurt recently?”

“Oh, yeah,” Finn said easily. “He calls every Friday night since he can’t come to Friday Night Family Dinners anymore. Because it would be a really long trip just for dinner you know.” A lopsided grin sprang to his face and Blaine laughed along at the joke too. 

“When is he coming home for Christmas?” Blaine asked, hoping that he sounded casual. “Last time we talked he didn’t have tickets yet and wasn’t sure of his plans.”

“Oh, dude, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this,” Finn looked pained. “He’s not coming home for Christmas. He decided to save his money for tuition now that he got into NYADA, so he’s staying in New York.” 

For a moment Blaine wondered why Kurt hadn’t told him the news himself, but as soon as he thought the question he knew the answer: Kurt had known how disappointed Blaine would be, and he didn’t know how to break the news to him, so he had just avoided it. It was frustrating to realize that someone he was so close to would feel unable to talk with him about something. Blaine had always made it a point to try to be open with people, but he realized that sometimes wearing his heart on his sleeve so openly might actually get in the way of good communication. He made a mental note to try to pay more attention to that.

“Anyway,” Finn continued, oblivious to Blaine’s epiphany. “He won’t be coming, BUT--” Finn glanced around as if maybe he thought that Kurt could overhear, and then continued in a loud whisper, “Burt is gonna fly out to spend Christmas with him, but it’s a surprise, so don’t tell!”

Blaine nodded. “Of course.”

* * *

The holidays passed quickly, and before he knew it Blaine was back in the swing of school. The glee club had decided to keep rehearsing anyway, and had used any space they could find for it. Today that apparently meant the boys locker room.

Ever since Tina had convinced the student council to hold a Sadie Hawkins dance, she had talked of little else. So it was no wonder that she had requested to be the first girl in glee club to sing her invitation to the dance. She stood before the group and sang a soulful rendition of a classic Broadway ballad. It was moving, and Blaine found himself joining his peers in swaying along with the music. As the final notes swelled and then sank into quiet, Tina smiled and then took the few steps she needed to close the distance between them. 

“So, Blaine, will you go to the dance with me?”

Blaine stared at her. Somehow he had not seen this coming ( _ how had he not seen this coming?! One look around the room seemed to suggest that everyone else had known exactly what she’d been planning _ ).

“Uh, Tina.” The old flashbacks hit him again. They were less of a shock this time since he’d been surrounded by Sadie Hawkins everything as the posters had gone up around school and everyone had talked about the upcoming dance. The flashbacks weren’t as bad as they used to be two years ago, and he wasn’t getting the nightmares anymore, but they were flashbacks all the same. Blaine’s stomach twisted and curled, and he felt vaguely nauseous. He gagged a little, but swallowed hard and forced himself to stay seated on the bench.

“Please?” Tina added with a slight note of desperation, and oh now this was getting really awkward. 

“I, Tina, um. Thank you, I mean. But...it’s just, I don’t think it’s a good idea…” he finally stammered out. He didn’t have time to try to explain further because she ran from the room in tears.

* * *

_ (3:27) Kurt to Blaine: I got an interesting package in the mail today… _

_ (3:28) Kurt: It has a calendar in it... _

_ (3:30) Blaine to Kurt: I don’t know why I let you talk me into sending that _

_ (3:31) Kurt: If you hadn’t sent it to me I would have made Finn send me one _

_ (3:32) Kurt: Or Brittany _

_ (3:33) Kurt: Or Unique _

_ (3:34) Kurt: Or Sam _

_ (3:34) Blaine: I get it. If I tried to say no you would go behind my back. _

_ (3:35) Blaine: Why did I tell you about it again?! _

_ (3:37) Kurt: Because you tell me everything?! _

_ (3:38) Blaine: HA HA _

_ (3:40) Blaine: There are things I haven’t told you _

_ (3:42) Kurt: Like what? _

_ (3:43) Blaine: Tina asked me to Sadie Hawkins _

_ (3:43) Kurt: But now you told me _

_ (3:44) Blaine: Shut up! _

_ (3:47) Kurt: Soo...are you going with her? _

_ (3:47) Kurt: Does she know about what happened before? _

_ (3:48) Blaine: No. But I should tell her, because she was really upset when I told her I wasn’t sure about going _

_ (3:50) Kurt: You should go _

_ (3:51) Kurt: It will be fun _

_ (3:52) Blaine: Yeah, I probably will _

_ (3:54) Kurt: Actually, I really hope you do go because there’s something I want to tell you too and I wasn’t sure how to say it but this might help _

_ (3:55) Kurt: I went out with a guy from the acapella group here. And I’m going out with him again on Friday _

_ (3:56) Kurt: I think it might turn into something _

_ (3:58) Kurt: I just wanted you to know _

_ (3:59) Blaine: What’s his name? _

_ (4:00) Kurt: Adam _

* * *

Blaine was a mess. He knew it wasn’t fair. After all, he’d gone on dates (well, a date), and Kurt had been supportive of that. Kurt had always hated Sebastian but he hadn’t said anything rude about Blaine having gone on a date with him. He had just nodded and asked if Blaine was glad he’d gone. And when Blaine said yes, Kurt had said “well then I’m happy for you,” and it hadn’t come up again. 

So it wasn’t right for Blaine to be jealous of the fact that Kurt had a second date with a cute guy from his choir. After all, Blaine had a date of his own in a couple of weeks. He shouldn’t be jealous of Kurt going out with another guy.

But he was.

* * *

Blaine was standing at his locker when he heard Tina’s voice behind him.

“I owe you an apology,” she said. Blaine turned around as she continued. “But I kind of think you owe me an apology too, because that was probably the most embarrassed I’ve ever been, which is saying something…” She cleared her throat and reached for his hand, and he let her take it. 

“Sam told me about what had happened to you before. How before you were at Dalton you had been at another school, and been bullied at a Sadie Hawkins dance. So I get why you wouldn’t want to go to one now. So I’m sorry for asking you publicly like that and making it awkward.”

“‘Bullied’ is putting it lightly, Tina,” Blaine mumbled, pulling his hand away from hers.

“What?”

“I wasn’t ‘bullied’ at that Sadie Hawkins dance. I was beaten so badly that I had broken bones and internal bleeding and spent three weeks in the hospital.”  He hadn’t exactly meant to be so graphic with her--he hadn’t actually ever told anyone that much detail. The few people who knew about the situation just knew that he and his date had been beaten up. That was all he’d told Sam. That was all he’d even told Kurt. Blaine didn’t know why he was telling Tina all of this now, except that it seemed like she deserved a more thorough explanation for why he had reacted the way he had in the locker room. 

“I had such bad nightmares at first that I had to take medication to be able to sleep. Even after that went away I still got flashbacks--still  _get_ flashbacks…”

“Oh my god Blaine, I really didn’t know.”

“I know, oh god I’m sorry Tina,” Blaine slid down the lockers to sit on the floor. He was pretty sure he’d just made this whole thing even more awkward than it already had been.

“I’m so sorry,” Tina blubbered as she sat down beside him and took his hand again. “You really don’t owe me an apology. I put you in a really bad situation, and even though I didn’t do it on purpose it’s still not--”

“Tina!” Blaine almost snapped. “I’m not mad at you. I mean it was really awkward and weird for both of us--and probably for everyone else in there--” Tina giggled and Blaine couldn’t help grinning too. “But it was just one of those things. Neither of us meant to hurt the other.”

Tina shook her head vigorously. “I really didn’t.”

“Sooo, let’s go to this dance together,” he concluded.

“Blaine, you don’t have to if--”

“No,” Blaine repeated firmly. “I want to. I’ll admit I’m still a little scared, because my other experiences with school dances haven’t exactly been smooth sailing either.” (He grimaced a little at the memories of the two proms he had been to with Kurt.) “But let’s do this. Besides, I’ve never been to a dance with a girl before.”

This time they both giggled.

* * *

Blaine gave himself one last once-over in the mirror before heading for the door. His tuxedo was simple and classic, as always. Well, ok, the jacket was velvet, so maybe it wasn’t simple, but it was very classy. His shoes were shined, his hair gelled perfectly, and his bow tie starched and crisp. 

“Oh look at you,” his mother’s voice came from his doorway. She was standing just outside in the hallway, smiling fondly. 

Blaine grinned. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Are you ready for this?” Mrs. Anderson asked softly. She put on a cheerful face most of the time, but Blaine knew she was worried. She had hardly left the hospital during his entire recovery period after his last Sadie Hawkins dance, and had expressed some concern when he announced that he was going to another one. Not that she would try to stop him, but she didn’t want him to get hurt.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Blaine assured her, taking her hands in his and squeezing softly. “It’s a different school, I’m older, and I have good supportive friends here. I’m going to be fine.”

“I meant going with a girl,” his mom smirked. 

“Hey, I’ve gone on dates with girls before!”

“It’s been a loooong time Blainey-bear,” she tapped her finger on his nose affectionately. 

“Mom!”

“Anyway, I just came to see if you needed any help with this.” She pointed to the single white orchid on his lapel. “But you seem to have it handled.”

“It’s not the first time I’ve put a flower on my lapel, Mom,” he reminded her.

“I know.” There was that soft little smile again as she stepped out of his way and followed him down the stairs toward the front door. “Sometimes I forget how old you are, or that you’re practically a man. A year from now you won’t even live with us anymore! You were just my little Blainey for so long that sometimes I forget that you’re not little anymore.”

“Tell Cooper that, would you?” Blaine grinned as he carefully gathered up the little clamshell box that held the wrist corsage he’d gotten for Tina.

“Tell Cooper what?”

“That I’m not little!” Blaine kissed his mom’s cheek quickly and then hurried out the door. There was no way he was going to be late to pick up Tina tonight.

* * *

Of course Blaine wasn’t late. Actually he was ten minutes early, and it was Tina’s parents who answered the door. Blaine had seen Tina’s parents before (they were always in the audience at competitions and performances) but he hadn’t ever been to her house, and he had never been officially introduced to them.

“Hello, I’m Blaine Anderson,” he said politely, letting the prep school manners show. 

“You’re the one taking Tina to this dance?” Her father asked without the slightest trace of emotion in his face or voice. He was scarcely Blaine’s height, with sharp features and a stern expression.

“Yes sir.”

Mr. and Mrs. Cohen-Chang glanced at each other for a long moment, and apparently an entire conversation passed between them, though not a word was spoken.

“Tell us about yourself, Blaine,” Mr. Cohen-Chang said.

“Um, I’m in the same class with Tina for history, AP English, and calculus; and of course we’re in student council and glee club together. Tina and I have been friends since last year, and I’m really excited to go to the dance with her,” Blaine said, Then he saw Mr. Cohen-Chang’s eyebrows furrow and realized what he was really asking. “I was dating a guy last year, but I’m not, I mean, I like women too. I’m not toying with Tina, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Mrs. Cohen-Chang was a tiny woman--much shorter even than Tina--but where her husband was all angles she was all soft curves. As Blaine finished his statement her face broke into a wide smile and her eyes twinkled. She gave her husband a brief, dirty, ‘I-told-you-so’ look before holding out her arms to Blaine. “Welcome son. It’s nice to meet you. I’m sure Tina will be down in a minute.”

Blaine was still hugging her (she didn’t seem to like letting go) when he saw Tina coming down the stairs. She was wearing a dress unlike anything he’d ever seen. It draped across one shoulder in glittering blue and black, and had a short, sexy underskirt with a long, sheer overskirt. Her hair was pulled back and hung in long curls down her back. She was a modern fairy tale princess...except for her face, which was scowling.

“Mom, let him go!”

Her mother let go, but then winked at Blaine and poked him in the rib. “Tina, this boy, he’s a nice one!” 

“Yes, Mama, I know.” Tina sighed. “I see you’ve met my parents.”

“I brought you this,” Blaine said, holding out the corsage box and hoping to change the subject.

“This boy is nice,” Mrs. Cohen-Chang said to her husband, “I like him.” Mr. Cohen-Chang just nodded once in reply.

Blaine slipped the flowers onto Tina’s wrist, and then the posed while Tina’s mom enthusiastically took a dozen photographs. 

“Mom, we’ll get the professional pictures at the dance. Those will be better than these anyway.”

* * *

The decorations at Sadie Hawkins were truly stunning, especially for a high school dance. Tina had used a snowflake theme, and the entire gym was a glittering winter wonderland. As per usual, the New Directions were providing the music for the evening, so almost as soon as they arrived Blaine had to go perform with several of the other guys. But over the course of the night Blaine and Tina danced together several times, to both fast songs and slow.

“I’m really glad we did this,” Blaine admitted. “I know I was nervous, but this is so nice.”

“It is, isn’t it? I told you we’d have fun!”

“You’re so right Tina. I should listen to you more often.”

Tina chuckled, high and musical.

“Oh Tina Cohen-Chang,” Blaine said lightly as he twirled her under his arm. “Where have you been all my life?”

Tina froze in his arms. “Right here,” she whispered.

Caught off guard, Blaine was just opening his mouth to reply when he was body-slammed by Sam.

“Dude, there’s been a development, you’ve got to come right now,” the blond blurted as he dragged him from the room.

Blaine threw an apologetic look back to his date. “This is important, but I’ll be back as fast as I can, I promise.” 

He was gone before he could hear Tina sigh and mutter to herself. “He’s too good to be true anyway.”

* * *

Sam had concrete evidence that the Warblers had been doping, so that meant they would be disqualified from Regionals which was good news for the New Directions. The news brought conflicting feelings for Blaine: of course he was excited to have a second chance at competition this year, but at the cost of having to bring down guys who had been such good friends to him for so long, it was a little bittersweet. 

He thought about all the emotional turmoil he had gone through just a few months ago when he had considered transferring back to Dalton, and felt grateful that he’d decided to stay at McKinley. Nothing in the world was perfect, but so far as Blaine Anderson had experienced, pushing forward was always a better choice than going back.

When he got back to the dance he saw the New Directions girls all on stage, singing a sexy rendition of “Locked Out of Heaven.” He’d seen them all dance before of course, but right now they were writhing and gyrating on the very edge of what was acceptable for a school dance. Tonight Blaine noticed Tina in a way he never had before.

She was radiant. She was full of life and passion, and it excited Blaine in an unexpected way. Watching her dance around her microphone stand like it was a stripper pole didn’t just make him a little hot and bothered, it also made him proud as hell. 

He waited for the song to end, and then worked his way into the crowd toward where Tina was getting a drink at the punch bowl.

“You were amazing up there,” he said. “I don’t think I tell you that often enough. But that performance was amazing. I love this new attitude you have. It’s so...empowered.”

“You’re still here,” a small smile broke across Tina’s face. “You were gone so long, I was starting to wonder if you’d left.”

“No, I wouldn’t leave you, not when we came together,” Blaine assured her. “Besides, we’re getting to the end of the evening, and you know what that means?” His tone was teasing. 

“The punch is watery?” she said wryly, grabbing the ladle and pouring some of the pale pink stuff into the bowl.

Blaine laughed. “No, it means that it’ll be all slow dances now. Do you think we can handle it?”

Tina scoffed and held out her hand formally. “Lead on, good sir.”

They took to the dance floor with smiles on their faces and lightness in their hearts. One song ran into the next, and in the ebb and flow of the music Blaine and Tina slowly moved closer and closer together. First his hand slid from her back down to her waist, then her hand moved across his shoulder to rest on his neck. The hands that had been clasped formally at their sides gradually moved to rest on each other’s bodies, until their movement was more of a swaying embrace than a dance. 

Tina’s head tipped into Blaine’s neck, and he nestled his chin around her. Her hair was soft (so much softer than hair full of product could ever be), and it smelled amazing. It was a little fruity and a little spicy, and Blaine couldn’t quite place it, but he decided he liked it. The soft curls teased and tickled along his jawline and made him smile.

“Tina,” Blaine almost jumped at the sound of his own voice, and at how raspy it was. He wasn’t sure what he meant to say. He cleared his throat and attempted to clear his brain; meanwhile Tina pulled her head back to look at him. She shook her head a little and made her hair fall behind her shoulders again.

“What?” she asked softly. Her eyes glittered like a star-filled night sky with the reflection of the thousands of twinkle lights around the room. The confetti snow gently fell onto them both and made the whole world seem a little softer. Blaine couldn’t think straight; so he didn’t try. He just kissed her.


	5. It's Not What I'm Used To

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> January through February (episodes 4x11-4x13)

Tina kissed him back, without the slightest trace of hesitation. Her hands were already around his neck and she used that to her advantage to hold him tightly in place as the tentative kiss intensified. Finally she eased back a little, and their eyes met. 

Blaine hadn’t really planned to kiss her. He hadn’t really thought about it one way or the other. As with so many first kisses, the moment just presented itself and he went for it. Tina, on the other hand, seemed like maybe she hadn’t been as surprised as he had. Her hands were still around his neck, but now one was gently stroking along the edge of his hairline with an affectionate familiarity that seemed… completely perfect?

“Mmmm,” she murmured, nuzzling her cheek against his. “That was nice.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Oh yeah,” he felt her smile against his cheek.

“We could do it again…”

And then her mouth was on his, not at all tentative this time. Her lips pressed into his and they were fuller, softer than he was used to. Or softer than he had been used to…

His hand slipped from her waist and skated up her arm. Her skin was soft too...and warm...and such a pretty soft gold…

“Blaine!” His eyes flew open as she hissed at him.

“Tina?” He tried to re-orient himself.  


“People are starting to stare. Maybe, um…” she bit her lip and looked at him through her lashes. “Maybe we should leave here?”

Blaine thought that was an excellent idea.

* * *

They made out in the car in the school parking lot for a while before Blaine actually drove Tina home, and then they kissed a few more times before he walked her to her door. 

They didn’t really talk about it, but when Tina invited Blaine over to do homework on Monday afternoon he accepted quickly, and when calculus got set aside for kissing, well, he wasn’t really surprised.

He also wasn’t surprised when she winked at him in the hall at school, or suggested singing a duet in glee club. She didn’t seem surprised when he invited her to have dinner with him at Breadstix; and neither of them was surprised when they ended up making out in the backseat of her car for so long that they missed their reservation.

* * *

“You’re the perfect height,” Tina told him one day.

“How’s that?”

“I don’t have to bend over and I don’t have to go on my toes. I can just hug you or kiss you just standing here.”

“Oh, um, well, you’re welcome?”

Tina just laughed and kissed him again.

Blaine was growing fond of Tina’s height as well. It was different to be close like this with someone shorter than himself, and Blaine liked it. Not that he’d ever minded being shorter (just barely) than Kurt, but now as the bigger person in a pair he found that he really liked that too. Her head fit neatly into his neck or rested on his shoulder when he held her. 

Holding: now that was something he had missed. Kissing was wonderful, for sure, but sometimes Blaine just wanted someone to cuddle up to. It was nice to sit together and do homework or watch a movie and just feel the warmth of her body next to his. One day she fell asleep on his shoulder, and Blaine completely drained his phone battery reading random show choir blogs as he sat there because he didn’t want to move and wake her. Eventually her head had lolled forward and her hair had fallen into her face and wakened her in a fit of coughing. Blaine had a terribly sore back for the rest of the afternoon from having sat in one position for so long, but he didn’t regret it at all. Not when he was the one to gently push her hair back behind her ear and see her smile.

The long hair was definitely something new. Blaine had never realized what a turn-on it could be to tangle his fingers into someone’s hair while kissing them. The way that he could pull (just a little) to get her to move her head one way or the other so that he could kiss along her neck or shoulder. The hair got in his mouth sometimes--that was also new. But he found that he wanted to bury his face in her hair all the time anyway because it was so soft and smelled so good.

“So we’re official, right?” Tina asked one day, about a week after the dance. “I mean, we’re boyfriend-girlfriend, aren’t we?”

“Um, I think so?” Blaine hadn’t ever had a conversation like this with Kurt. Kurt had just said he was interested, and then Blaine said he was too, and they had kissed and that was that. But what if Tina thought it was a fling? Or that she was a rebound. Oh god, what if Blaine was her rebound? “Did...did you not want…”

“Yes, I want to be a couple,” Tina said firmly. “And I was pretty sure you felt the same, but I try to not assume things, so I wanted to ask, just to make sure.”

“Yeah,” Blaine nodded. “I want us to be together.”

“Then I need to tell you something important. Please don’t be mad, ok?”

Blaine took her hands and stared intently into her eyes, nodding that she should continue.

“I’m friends with Mike again.”

Blaine blinked a few times. “Excuse me?”

“I mean, he was just such a big part of my life for so long, and we were such good friends even besides dating--”

“Tina--”

“And it’s not like I’m still in love with him. I mean, maybe a little bit, because I’m probably always going to care about him. But not in love with him  _ like that _ because he’s in Chicago and I’m here, and I’m really  _ fine _ with that, it’s just that sometimes I miss him so--”

“Tina!”

She stopped mid-sentence. “What?”

“Um, you realize I’m still friends with Kurt, right?”

“Oh, right, of course you are.”

“And that has no bearing on the fact that right now I want to be with you.”

She laughed. “None at all.”

Then she kissed him, and he kissed her back.

And that was that.

Blaine Anderson had a girlfriend.

* * *

_ (6:47) Blaine to Kurt: I need to tell you something _

* * *

It had been five months since Finn had taken over glee club, but it was still a little weird to see him in button-ups and sweaters instead of t-shirts. (Blaine wholly approved of the change. He’d even taken Finn shopping once--with a detailed list from Kurt of what to look for--but it was still a little weird to see those clothes on Finn.) It was also a little weird to have him giving out the weekly assignments, but at least he was more in touch with current music, and he was more open to suggestions than Mr Schue had ever been. Plus he didn’t rap.

“We’re back in the game now that the Warblers were disqualified,” Finn announced. “It’s been a rough road to get here, and we really need to dig deep so that we can bring it at Regionals in just a few weeks. So I’ve brought Miss Pillsbury to help me introduce this week’s theme!”

“A diva is a fierce, often temperamental singer who comes correct. She is not a trick ass hoe and does not sweat the haters.”

“Heh, so the guys are screwed this week,” Jake said.

“Hey, guys can be divas,” Blaine corrected. He already liked the direction this week was going.

Without any further provocation, Unique and Tina started smack-talking everyone else in the room (but especially each other), and soon Marley, Brittany, and Kitty had joined in.

“Being a diva means that you’re good, and you know it, and you don’t accept less than the best from yourself or anyone else,” Blaine snapped at the bickering lot, but they more or less ignored him.

Fine, if no one was going to listen, he’d have to show them instead. Leading by example was the best way to do these things anyway, right? Now all he needed was the perfect song.

* * *

“Blaine Anderson,” a familiar voice called across the busy coffee shop. Blaine looked up from his calculus and a smile broke across his face. 

“Hey Sebastian.”

The lanky boy got right to the point. “Rumor has it that you’ve started dating again,” he said, settling into the chair across from Blaine and loosening his tie just enough to undo the top button of his Dalton uniform shirt. “I don’t know if I should be impressed that you’ve moved on from Kurt, or hurt that you didn’t choose me.” He stuck his lip out in an exaggerated pout and then winked.

“Sebastian, don’t be--”

He was interrupted by a loud laugh. “It’s ok, I didn’t take it personally.” Sebastian grinned. “Not everyone is cut out for all this.” He gestured to himself and made a kissy face.

“Oh my god, you’re ridiculous.” Blaine tried to repress the grin but he couldn’t do it.

“Which is why you love me.” Sebastian took a big gulp from his cup and made a face. “American coffee sucks.”

“So you always say, and yet you keep drinking it.”

“Well bad coffee is better than no coffee!” With a twinkle in his eye he held his to-go cup out in the air for a toast, and Blaine tapped his own cup against it.

After another swig from the paper cup, Sebastian folded his hands on the table in front of him and took on a face of feigned sternness. “So, tell me about him…” he urged.

“ _ She _ is in glee club with me at McKinley--” 

Sebastian almost choked on his coffee, and Blaine allowed himself a little smirk at the knowledge that he had managed to shock Sebastian Smythe. 

“And we have been friends for a long time, and decided to try dating.”

“She?!” Sebastian sounded...surprised? confused? incredulous?

“Yes,” Blaine nodded and nonchalantly took another sip from his medium drip as Sebastian stared at him, his mouth opening and shutting several times without any words coming out. Blaine allowed himself to enjoy it. He’d come out a few times in a few different ways now, but he had never done it for shock value. This was Sebastian though, and Blaine just couldn’t help playing with him a little. He took a nibble from his cookie and just waited for Sebastian to find his tongue.

“Why are you dating a girl?” Sebastian finally managed. “Is this some weird experimental phase or something?”

“Nope,” Blaine popped the ‘p’ on the end of the word. “I’m very much attracted to Tina. The Kinsey Scale has more than just 0 and 6 you know. There’s a whole range in between.”

Sebastian looked impressed. “Bisexual, huh? I would not have called that.” He took another drink, and Blaine waited for the veiled insult. 

“I always thought being bisexual was kind of lame, like, just make up your mind and pick a side,” Sebastian said. Yep, there it was. Blaine clenched his jaw and waited for the rest so that he could defend his honor, until Sebastian finished with, “I’ve come to realize that that’s stupid. People want who they want, and no orientation is more valid than another.”

Now it was Blaine’s turn to feel speechless. “I, thank you, Sebastian.”

Sebastian winked again. “Anytime babe.” He stood up tossing his empty coffee cup and watching it land neatly in the trash can. “Maybe it’s a good thing you’re with a girl,” Sebastian flashed a grin and turned for the door, but at the last moment glanced back and murmured, “you clearly weren’t ready for a guy again yet.”

* * *

“I have no idea what I’m going to sing,” Tina moaned, leaning heavily into the locker next to him and sighing. “Unique blew it out of the water with that Beyoncé number, and Marley killed that Mariah Carey song. Sam’s Bieber thing was admittedly not quite the same level, but then you did that amazing Freddie Mercury performance and I feel totally inspired and totally intimidated at the same time.”

“Aww, Tina,” Blaine shut his locker and slipped his free hand around her waist and squeezed. “Hey, you are definitely a diva. You just need to find the right kind of song. I mean, just a few days ago Kurt mentioned that he beat Rachel in a diva-off, but that he thought that the song choice--”

“And your  _leather_ pants, Blaine!” Tina acted like she hadn’t even heard him. “Leather  _ pants _ ! Damn! I don’t have a song which means I can’t even start on figuring out an outfit. But every time I try to brainstorm for good diva songs, I can think of lots of songs, but none of them are right for me…”

“Why don’t you come over after school?” Blaine suggested. “I can help you find a song.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re my boyfriend and you have to.”

“No, I’m saying that because you are a diva and you are as good as anyone in that choir room and you deserve a song that could help you win this competition. Aaaaand maybe a little because I’m your boyfriend and I want to have you over for a while…” He grinned and Tina dipped her head in a giggle. 

“You’re the best, Blaine,” she said, slipping out of his arm and taking his hand instead as they started down the hallway. “I’m going to bring a cold buster kit for you too.”

“A what?”

“A cold buster kit,” Tina repeated. “Because maybe nobody else notices, but I see that your nose is a little pink and I can hear that congestion starting. You need to nip this thing in the bud before it makes you stay home from school and miss my performance.”

“No way!” Blaine kissed her forehead and squeezed her fingers. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

* * *

“These aren’t the songs I’d been thinking of at all when I thought about divas,” Tina admitted to him that afternoon as they both lay on their stomachs on his bed, looking at the playlist on his laptop. “Cher, Madonna, all this old school stuff. This is really good. Why didn’t I think of it?”

Blaine shrugged. “Sometimes we get so caught up focusing on one thing that we don’t notice the obvious that’s right in front of us.” He was definitely learning that lesson. He’d spent months hung up on missing his ex, but all along there had been a wonderful person right here waiting for him. He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

“Hey!” Tina shoved him with her shoulder. “Don’t give me your germs! You may have already performed but I still have to sing and I need to be healthy!”

“I’ve been taking my medicine,” Blaine informed her. “Besides, don’t they say that you’re the most contagious before you have symptoms? Maybe I’m not really--” but he interrupted himself with a wide yawn.

“Suuure,” Tina closed the laptop and set it on the floor beside the bed. “Lay down honey. Let me put some vapo-rub on your chest. It’ll help.”

“That sounds really nice, actually.” Blaine smiled as he settled back into the pillows. “You’re so good to me, Tina.” He watched as she reached into the cold buster box--which was sitting right there on his bedside table--and grabbed out a little jar. She carefully unscrewed the cap and then caught his eye meaningfully.

“What?” Blaine knew he wasn’t thinking as clearly as normal because of the congestion and the cold medicine, but he wasn’t catching her drift at all right now.

“It needs to go on your skin, Blaine.”

Oh, right. Blaine knew that. He reached for his top button and started fumbling it, but for some reason his fingers wouldn’t cooperate very well. 

“Can I…?” Tina reached out her hands, but then paused and waited.

“Yeah,” Blaine nodded. “Thank you.”

Tina smiled a little and carefully undid his top few buttons. “This is new,” she murmured, gently rubbing the gel across his chest. “We’ve never done this before.”

“We’ve been together for two weeks. It’s kinda-ah early,” Blaine wound up to sneeze and Tina handed him a tissue without even being asked. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it, Blainey-days.” Tina screwed the top back on the jar and returned it to the box. She laid the sides of his shirt back together and pulled up the throw blanket from the bottom of the bed to lay over his nearly-sleeping form. “Get some rest,” she whispered. She pressed a gentle kiss to his temple, and went home.

* * *

Blaine felt like a whole new person after Tina’s nurturing, and it was a good thing he did because she was going to be performing today and he really didn’t want to miss it.

“So did you find a song?" he asked her as they settled into their seats for first period Honors English.

“Yes.” She grinned. “Thanks for helping me figure out what direction to go.

“What--”

“No!” She put a finger on his mouth to quiet him. “No spoilers. But you’ll see at lunch time.”

Oh, she was going for a public performance! 

“Where,” Blaine started to ask, but the teacher was starting class and Tina shushed him. 

“Trust me, you won’t be able to miss it.”

* * *

Tina had been right, of course. Nobody could have missed it. Blaine had just finished filling his lunch tray when he heard the  [ beat start ](https://youtu.be/IpsvFBnVD0s?t=1m10s) in the courtyard, and he hurried out to see. Tina was on the steps, surrounded by backup dancers and singing her heart out.

_ Hey, Mr DJ put a record on   
I wanna dance with my baby _

She was dressed in all white, with skinny jeans, a wide belt with a huge gold buckle, and a cowboy hat. She glanced Blaine’s direction and for a moment they made eye contact. She tipped her hat briefly in his direction, matched it with a hip pop, then turned on her heel and strutted the other way like she owned the place.

_ And when the music starts   
I never wanna stop, it's gonna drive me crazy _

Blaine found a seat and set his tray on the table, but he didn’t want to take his eyes off Tina long enough to actually eat his food. Tina was so  _on_ today; she was amazing. Everyone seemed to feel the same way: they were clapping along, nodding their heads, or even on their feet rocking to the music. 

Blaine was so proud to be her boyfriend.

_ Music makes the people come together   
Music mix the bourgeoisie and the rebel _

The whole courtyard erupted in applause when the song ended. Tina came over to the table of assembled New Directions and smiled.

It was one of the hottest things Blaine had ever seen.

* * *

They’d gone back to Tina’s house that afternoon and were sprawled on her bed making out when Blaine felt her fingers slip inside the waistband of his pants, and he pulled back suddenly.

“Blaine? I’m sorry, was that--”

“No, you don’t need to apologize,” he assured her. “I, just, um.” He swallowed hard. He had really not thought about this part of things, and suddenly it was hitting him that a lot of his prior relationship experience was not going to be applicable to this relationship. At least in this area. “I’m not ready for that level of physical intimacy yet,” he finally said.

“Wait, did you and Kurt never…”

“Oh we did,” Blaine was pretty sure he was blushing, but this conversation was happening so he might as well go for it. “We totally did, but, can we not talk about him right now? It’s weird for me to talk about my ex with...”

“Right, sorry.” Tina looked a little abashed. “Um, ok, so, I guess we should talk about this?”

“Yeah,” Blaine felt relieved, and realized he hadn’t even realized how subconsciously stressed he’d been getting over this issue. 

“Alright,” Tina said bluntly. “So Mike and I were together almost a year before we had sex. And he’s the only one I’ve been with, but I don’t feel like I need to wait so long this time because you and I have known each other for a long time, so even though we haven’t been dating very long it doesn’t feel like it’s rushed.”

Blaine nodded. “Um, similar for me, I guess. We took our time and made sure we were both comfortable before we took that step. And I’ve never had sex with anyone else. And we always used condoms,” he added, almost as an afterthought.

“Oh, me too,” Tina nodded. 

Blaine licked his lips, not sure what else to say. He was having a hard time defining  _ why _ he felt like he wasn’t ready: he just knew that he wasn’t.

But Tina had an idea. “Have you ever been with a girl before?”

“Not really,” Blaine said. “I mean, I went on three dates with Rachel after that--”

“--spin the bottle,” Tina finished with him. “Yeah, we all heard about that.”

“But we never, I mean, we only ever kissed.”

“Right, so you’ve never really been with a girl.”

“Not sexually, no.”

“Is that making you nervous?”

“I--” Blaine stopped for a minute to think about it. “I don’t think so,” he finally concluded. “I don’t think it’s about you being a girl, so much as it is about me just needing some time in a relationship before I’m ready to get sexually involved.”

Tina nodded. “I can respect that.” She pursed her lips for a moment, thinking, then she added, “so, what are you ready for?”

“I don’t know,” Blaine admitted. “Can we just promise to always be honest with each other, and tell each other if we want something, or if something makes us uncomfortable?”

Tina nodded. “A diva is honest about what she wants, and she doesn’t apologize for wanting it.” Blaine smiled as she trailed her fingers down his arm. “Sooooo, if I am going to be totally honest, I have to tell you that I’d really like you to take off the sweater vest, and the bowtie, and the shirt, and then I want to make out some more…” She looked up sharply and met his eye. “Does that make you uncomfortable?”

Blaine shook his head, already loosening the knot on his tie. “I’m wearing an undershirt too,” he informed her as he pulled the tie out from his collar and opened the top button of his shirt

Tina watched him as he carefully removed his sweater vest and folded it before laying it neatly on the seat of her desk chair. “Do you want me to…” she reached for the side zipper on her dress.

“Not today.” Blaine gently added his button-down shirt to the chair, then hesitated only a moment before pulling off his undershirt in one smooth movement. He glanced back at Tina to gauge her reaction, and from the gleam in her eye he was pretty sure that she approved.

“So now what?”

Tina smiled and beckoned with her finger; Blaine smiled and moved back beside her to resume where they had left off.

 


	6. Lost My Discretion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> February

Blaine was sitting with his girlfriend in one of the chapel pews, giggling with her over some ridiculous thing that had happened at school that week, when Kurt and Rachel came in and sat down across the aisle from them. Kurt smiled as he shimmied out of his coat, and Rachel bent her fingers in a tiny wave.

“Hi,” Blaine mouthed at them. The wedding should be starting any minute, so it wouldn’t really be appropriate to slip over to chat with them. Besides, there would be all evening at the reception for that.

“They look good,” Tina whispered in his ear. “I can’t wait to graduate and get out of this little town too.”

“Me either,” Blaine whispered back. He reached his arm around her across the back of the pew, and she laid her head on his shoulder as the wedding march began.

* * *

The wedding didn’t happen. Blaine wasn’t sure if he should be surprised or not that Miss Pillsbury had run away, but Sue’s awkward entrance (in a wedding gown of all things) made the whole situation infinitely more uncomfortable than it needed to be. He felt terrible for Mr. Schue, and wished there was something he could do for him. 

When Mr. Schue announced that the party was going to go forward as planned (albeit with the absence of the intended bride and groom), Blaine squared his shoulders and rounded up the New Directions for a show circle.

“Alright guys, this may be a Valentine’s party instead of a wedding reception, but we’re still going to give these people some great music.”

* * *

__

As was usual for the New Directions, the musical numbers for the wedding had hardly been rehearsed, but--as was also usual--they pulled it off and nobody seemed to notice the lack of preparation. Various duos and small groups took turns singing, periodically dragging in glee club alumni to join them. 

Blaine and Tina duetted to  _ Don’t Go Breakin My Heart .  _ Blaine hadn’t been sure whether it was a good wedding song, but Tina assured him that it was very popular at weddings, and he had gone along with it. Now he was glad he had, because it was so much fun to perform. They had bounced around the stage, high on the energy of their own new relationship, flirting and teasing with every line. They fit together well vocally and physically, and the audience applauded wildly. When they left the stage, Tina excused herself to go to the bathroom, and Blaine found himself standing next to a display of baby cupcakes as Artie started a soulful ballad.

“Oooo, baby cupcakes!” a familiar voice said conversationally by his shoulder.

“Hi, Kurt,” Blaine grinned as Kurt snaked an arm past him and grabbed a little pink-frosted confection. “You never met a cupcake you didn’t like, did you.”

“Mmm, yeth I did onth,” Kurt mumbled, swallowing and then licking off his fingers delicately. “A few months ago Rachel got it into her head to make vegan cupcakes for some inane holiday or other, and those things were awful. I kept throwing them away on the sly so that she wouldn’t know I wasn’t eating any of them. She was so proud of them, but they tasted--”

“Like sawdust?” 

Kurt nodded as he reached for another baby cupcake, and Blaine chuckled. 

“Vegan cupcakes can be good,” Kurt added. “But Rachel can’t cook worth a damn. Just don’t tell her I said that.”

Blaine’s finger traced an X over his heart. “Promise!”

“Soooo,” Kurt looked back and forth around the room. “Where’s Tina?”

“Oh she went to freshen up or something,” Blaine shrugged.

“Are you two ok?” Blaine wasn’t sure if Kurt looked concerned or hopeful when he asked.

“Yeah, we are. We just don’t… I don’t know. I guess I’m not really into public displays of affection.”

Kurt laughed and rolled his eyes. “Sure you’re not. I know you Blaine Anderson! You’re the most publicly affectionate person I’ve ever met! I think that maybe you’re just not used to being allowed to do it in obvious ways. When we were dating we were constantly afraid of how people would react if they saw us acting like a couple, so we avoided it. It’s been a big change for me to be in New York where it’s so much more accepting. Adam and I could hold hands walking down the street and it was no big deal, you know? You and I didn’t do that kind of thing in public here in Ohio. Because we couldn’t.”

“But New York is different,” Kurt continued. “And your being with Tina is different from when you were with me. We both know it is. People look at you differently when you’re dating a girl.”

“That’s true,” Blaine agreed. “And maybe I do hold back more than someone else would, because of what you and I went through…”

“Blaine,” Kurt’s change in tone snatched Blaine from his thoughts.

“What?”

“May I have this dance?” Kurt sounded almost shy as he held out his hand. Artie’s voice rose gently in the background and Blaine thought it felt like a moment out of a movie. “That’s not too weird, is it?” Kurt asked. “Dancing with me?”

Blaine shook his head and gently slid his hand into Kurt’s. “No, not at all.”

It was weird, actually, holding Kurt’s hand as they walked onto the dance floor. It was weird touching him at all. It wasn’t until their skin made contact that Blaine realized that they literally hadn’t touched since they had broken up six months ago. 

The last time they had been just friends they had touched constantly. Blaine had taken Kurt’s hand within two minutes of meeting him and the physical contact between them had grown as their relationship had. Now that their relationship had changed again, Blaine wasn’t sure what the proper protocol was.

“I miss dancing with you,” Kurt murmured softly as they turned to face each other. His hand slipped into place on Blaine’s back and Blaine couldn’t help a slight shiver at the familiar tingle of it. “This is ok, right? Your, um, Tina won’t mind?”

“I don’t think so,” Blaine answered honestly. “I mean, obviously she knows we’re still friends. And there are plenty of people here dancing together here who are just friends.” He nodded toward Brittany and Mike who were doing some complicated twisty thing off to the side of the dance floor.

“Ok,” Kurt wrinkled up his nose a little and squinted at Blaine. The twinkle lights from the wall decor reflected in his pale eyes and made them shine. Blaine grinned at him, and Kurt smiled back.

It was comfortable, this, whatever it was. Their hands had once been accustomed to holding each other, and perhaps that was something that didn’t go away. They swayed gently with the song as Artie sang, their bodies finding the beat of the music and the rhythm of each other without any conscious effort on either of their parts. Blaine didn’t even think about it when he leaned his head into Kurt’s cheek. It just felt natural.

“What if…” Kurt trailed off, and if Blaine had to guess he would have said that Kurt was literally biting his tongue.

“What if what?”

“What if I didn’t want us to be friends anymore?” Kurt blurted in a whisper, his eyes narrowing. “What if I--” his gaze dropped for a moment before rising steadily and locking into Blaine’s. “What if I don’t?”

“Kurt?” Blaine asked in confusion. He loosened his hold and tried to step back. His movement broke the rhythm of their dance for only a moment before Kurt had pushed into him again, pulling their bodies together and kissing him softly.

Blaine’s body didn’t hesitate about kissing his boyfriend. They had done it thousands of times. And while they had rarely kissed in public, instinct told them both that this was a safe space. His hand crept off Kurt’s shoulder and onto his neck. He gently brushed a thumb across Kurt’s ear, careful to avoid the coif but needing to touch him as much as he could.

He whined softly as Kurt’s tongue slid across his lower lip; he let his mouth fall open, licking and sucking and savoring the familiar taste of the man he loved... 

Until his brain turned on again and reminded him that Kurt wasn't his boyfriend anymore.

“Kurt!” Blaine gasped, jumping back. “I can't, I'm with--”

“Tina, I know.” Kurt let his now empty arms drop to his sides in chagrin. He looked at his toes and shuffled his feet. He put his hands in his pockets then took them out again; he put one on his hip for a moment, then clasped them in front of himself. 

“And you--”

“Broke it off with Adam when I realized I was still too much in love with you to date anyone else,” Kurt sighed. 

“You broke...up…” Blaine repeated slowly. 

“Because I'm in love with you, yeah.” Kurt cocked his head to the side and met Blaine’s gaze unwaveringly.

“But how, I mean, when did you--” Blaine's mind was stumbling through the new information and and his mouth was stumbling along with it. 

“A couple of weeks ago,” Kurt shrugged. 

“Why didn't you say anything?” Blaine demanded. “We've talked since then. We skype every weekend...why didn't you…”

“I wanted to tell you in person,” Kurt explained. “It seemed like the kind of thing that shouldn't be said over the phone.”

“That you want me back,” Blaine clarified; Kurt nodded. 

“Even though I have a girlfriend,” Blaine continued. 

“Well, you sorta had a girlfriend when we got together the first time…” Kurt pointed out. 

“Oh my god, Kurt, no I didn't!” Blaine sputtered. “Rachel and I went on three dates. We were never officially a couple. I was never in love with her!”

“Are you in love with Tina?” Kurt asked softly, eyes still locked on Blaine’s.

“Of course I…” Blaine's voice trailed off instead of finishing as automatically as he had begun. “I don't know,” he admitted finally. “We have only been together for a month. We're not really there yet.”

“Mmm,” Kurt murmured. “Do you still love me?” he added softly. 

“Kurt.” Blaine reached out and put his hand on Kurt's arm. Kurt opened his mouth and looked like he was about to say something when Sam literally bumped into them. 

“Bro, I've been looking all over for you! C’mon, our duet is next,” Sam spewed all in one breath. “Hi Kurt,” he added with a quick nod as he grabbed Blaine's hand and tugged him toward the stage. 

Kurt stood silently and watched them go.

None of them noticed Tina standing in the corner, glowering.

* * *

The evening was winding down, with Blaine and Sam’s duet as one of the final numbers. It had been a long day for everyone, so after performing Blaine went to look for Tina. They had driven together and he needed to check in with her and see if she was ready to leave. Blaine was just coming around a corner when he heard Tina’s voice talking to someone else, and she clearly wasn’t happy. 

“It’s like I don’t even know you anymore,” she seethed. “Who _are_ you?!”

Blaine slowed his steps to get a better grasp of the situation before barging into it. 

“He was in love with me first, and he’s still in love with me,” Kurt’s crisp voice snapped.

_ Oh. _

Blaine stopped altogether and waited where he was: within earshot but out of sight. He did not want to get into the middle of this.

“Do you think I don’t know that?” Tina’s voice was getting higher in pitch as well as volume. “I know your break up was planned and mutual and whatever, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t break his heart. We all deserve to be loved, Kurt.”

“I do love him,” Kurt almost growled.

“So do I.”

“I loved him first!” Kurt countered.

“But I’m here and you’re not.”

The finality of her statement brought them both to silence for a few moments.

“It shouldn’t be a contest, Tina,” Kurt said finally. “I mean, we both love Blaine. We both want him to be happy. Why can’t we just give him a choice?”

“Because you lost the chance to do that when you decided to break up rather than try a long distance relationship. Now you’re gone. You’re gone and he’s here with me and you need to grow up and deal with it, and not sneak around trying to steal other people’s boyfriends.”

“I wasn’t--”

“Shut up, Kurt,” Tina snapped. 

Blaine heard her shoes slapping on the floor and hurriedly tried to look like he had just gotten there, rather than that he had been eavesdropping. Tina rounded the corner sharply and as their eyes met she glared at him.

“Are you ready to g--” Blaine began.

“Just take me home.”

Blaine nodded. “Ok.”


	7. Just Human Nature

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> February
> 
> Warning for canon content of 4x18 “Shooting Star”
> 
> Pay attention to the time notations in the texting sections.

_“Tina!_ _”_ Blaine exclaimed into the phone for the tenth time in as many minutes. “I told you, _he_ kissed _me_.”

“You kissed him back,” she said flatly.

“It was just kind of automatic. I didn’t mean to,” Blaine tried again. “I promise, I wasn’t trying--” he paused and took a deep breath. “It didn’t mean anything.”

“Are you still in love with him?”

“I…” Blaine sighed.

“That’s what I thought.”

And she hung up.

Again.

It had been four days of fighting with Tina and Blaine wasn’t sure what to do about it. After the wedding she had completely ignored him for the rest of the weekend: not answering his calls or replying to his texts. When they returned to school on Monday she had pretended like he wasn’t even there. In glee club that afternoon she had gone out of her way to have little conversations with everyone _except_ for Blaine. It had to be obvious to everyone that they were fighting, but the thing was, Blaine was at a loss because he had never had a fight like this before. He and Kurt had fought, sometimes, but when they had gotten upset with each other they had always been able to talk to each other about it pretty quickly. But with Tina so carefully avoiding him, it made it hard for Blaine to talk to her. Last night she had answered the phone only to yell “leave me alone,” and hang up on him. Finally, tonight, she had actually let him speak. They had talked for over an hour and gotten nowhere. So now Blaine had no idea what to do.

Blaine needed advice, and he needed it from someone who knew Tina. He scrolled through the contacts on his phone for only a few seconds before deciding who to call.

* * *

 

“Yo,” Artie’s intense chipperness was usually amusing to Blaine, but today he was not in the mood and it was just annoying.

“Hi,” Blaine hesitated, trying to figure out how to start. “I, um, need some advice.”

“I am known as a purveyor of wisdom,” Artie conceded. “How may I advise you on this fine evening?”

“Well, I’m not new to relationships in general, but I’m new to dating Tina, and--”

“You’re not calling to ask me how to have sex with a woman, are you? Because I think that--”

“No!” Blaine interrupted hastily. “No, not that.”

“Ok, good.” Blaine could almost hear the smile on the other end of the line. “So what can I do for you then?”

“Well, Tina and I, we’re kind of--”

“Having world war three?” Artie supplied helpfully. “Yeah, I know.”

“Everybody knows,” Blaine moaned, flopping back on his bed and rubbing the heel of his hand into his eyes. “But I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Have you tried talking?”

“Yeah, we just talked for an hour. But we didn’t get anywhere. Like, I didn’t even know it was possible to talk for so long and not manage to really communicate anything. I just don’t know how to talk to her.”

“Mmmmm,” Artie said. “Have you tried sex?”

“I shouldn’t have called you,” Blaine decided.

“Oh, right, she’s avoiding you. How could I forget,” Artie continued dryly. “That would make it difficult to have wild hate sex followed by passionate make-up sex.”

 _“ Artie!_ _”_ Now Blaine felt exasperated and embarrassed.

“Sorry.”

Blaine tried again. “It’s just that you two are best friends and you’ve known her a lot longer than I have. So I thought maybe…”

“Mmmmm,” Artie said again. “Your premise supports the conclusion, yes.”

“So can you help me?” Blaine was nearly begging now and he knew it.

“Ya got to show her, man,” Artie said simply. “Woo the woman. She puts on that tough outside but inside she’s all soft and tender and she needs you to prove to her that you want her.”

“That seems really obvious now that you say it.”

“Full disclosure, though,” Artie continued.

“What’s that?”

“I hate you.”

“What?” Blaine sat up abruptly.

“I was in love with Tina first, and she dumped me for Mike. Once he graduated I thought I might have a chance with her again.”

“Oh,” Blaine said softly. That was the thing about being a transfer student: sometimes people had histories that he wasn’t fully privy to.

“But now she’s with you.”

“Artie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you, I didn’t realize…”

“And you do not deserve her,” Artie carefully enunciated each word, speaking with a sense of finality.

* * *

 

Blaine knew that a proper wooing demanded a good venue and the right timing, and experience suggested that the McKinley courtyard at lunchtime was the perfect choice. He made his arrangements with the band and even got a few Cheerios who were willing to dance backup for him on short notice.

Blaine waited near the doorway from the cafeteria, but Tina walked right past him without even acknowledging him (as he had suspected she would), so he gave her a minute to get settled at her table with her friends before he cued the band.

The brassy, big band sound filled the outdoor space easily, and heads turned to see what was going on. The student body of McKinley was more or less used to public performances by now, so as soon as they assessed the situation (some glee kid publicly airing the details of their relationship with some other glee kid: check) then most of them turned back to their food.

Blaine had spent hours picking out a song that would express his attraction and affection to Tina, as well as his desire to be with her, but without saying... _things_...that he wasn’t ready to say to her. But Old Blue Eyes had come through for him, and as the band played his introduction he moved onto the stairs and burst into song.

_I've got you under my skin._   
_I've got you deep in the heart of me._   
_So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me._   
_I've got you under my skin._

The cheerleaders fanned out behind him and started a dance routine that wasn’t the same as his own bouncy strut but somehow worked with it anyway.

Oh yeah, this one was going to be good.

_I'd tried so not to give in.  
I said to myself: this affair never will go so well. _

Tina was pointedly still eating her lunch and hadn’t turned around to look at him, but Blaine knew she was hearing him. He signaled to the head cheerleader and they shifted the dance off the stairs and around to the other side of the courtyard--so they were in front of Tina instead of behind her.

_But why should I try to resist when, baby, I know so well  
I've got you under my skin? _

Tina stabbed her salad leaf so hard that her plastic fork broke, but she went on resolutely eating her salad with half a fork. She still didn’t look up at Blaine, but he was dancing on top of a table now so he knew it was only a matter of time. Right?

 _Use your mentality, wake up to reality._  
_But each time I do just the thought of you_  
_Makes me stop just before I begin_  
_'Cause I've got you under my skin._

Blaine caught Tina’s eye, for just a small moment, and he knew this was it. So he quickly swapped out a word to try to make his message clear.

_And I need you under my skin._

Blaine finished his performance, on his knees with arms outspread and breathing hard, just a few feet from where Tina. She was watching him with pursed lips but didn’t speak.

“Well, say something,” Blaine urged with a tip of his head.

“If you think that a big song and dance number is going to make me forget what I’m mad about, you don’t know me very well,” she said flatly. Fire flashed in her eyes. “Just because your ex always fell for that doesn’t mean I will. I’m not him. Which ironically is the whole reason we’re having this fight in the first place.” And she stood up brusquely, grabbed her tray, and strode off.

Blaine was crushed. Now he really had no idea what to do.

* * *

 

Blaine had been sitting on the back row in the choir room, sulking (if he was honest with himself) when they heard the gunshot. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t jump with the others; he hardly even moved. It wasn’t until the second shot that he really heard it and realized what it was. By then Mr Schue was yelling at everyone to take cover, and Blaine went into autopilot: running to move the piano (heedless of the things that fell off of it) and helping Artie out of his chair and onto the floor where the others were gathering. (Artie's suggestion may not have worked, but Blaine didn't hold that against him.)

They all crouched behind whatever they could find, and their stillness revealed what had fallen to the floor in their haste: a metronome was standing like a sentinel in the middle of the room, quietly clicking a beat. As the moments passed and their breathing all slowed and the yelling from the hallway quieted, Blaine was the one who dared to question the assumption.

“Are we even sure those were gunshots?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Coach Beiste said firmly. “We need to take precautions in case it was. Better safe than sorry.”

Blaine heard a muffled sob from behind the amplifiers, followed by some muffled whispers.

“Everyone get out your phones and start texting,” Schue said suddenly. “Tell them what’s going on and that we’re ok, but don’t say where we are.” He paused for a second, breathing heavily before adding, “shooters have smartphones too.”

Everyone quietly started following his instructions, glad to have something to do rather than just sit there. Blaine texted his mom first.

_(2:37)Blaine to Mom: We are in lockdown at McKinley. There was a noise that sounded like a gun._

_(2:38) Blaine: but I’m ok_

_(2:39) Mom to Blaine: what?!_

Blaine had to reject the phone call that came through from his mom just then. Even on vibrate the phone was anything but silent, and he couldn’t risk talking loudly enough to be heard on a phone.

_(2:41) Blaine: I can’t take a call. We have to keep quiet._

_(2:41) Mom: I’m coming to pick you up right now_

_(2:42) Blaine: We are in lockdown. Nobody can get in or out. But we are safe in this room._

_(2:44) Mom: I’m still coming_

_(2:45) Blaine: Don’t. There’s no point_

_(2:46) Blaine: I promise I will text you every 15 minutes_

“We’re going to be ok,” Beiste tried to assure them.

“We can stay here as long as we need to,” Schue added, and they all fell into an uneasy silence again, interrupted only by the faint clicking of cell phone button, and the endless _click, click, click_ of the metronome.

_(2:49) Blaine to Tina: Where are you?_

_(2:51) Blaine: Are you safe?_

_(2:52) Blaine: I’m really worried about you_

Footsteps clapped down the hallway outside the door and someone shook the door handle vigorously before running on.

Sam had been practically bouncing where he sat, and now he literally leapt into the air. “Brittany isn’t here. She was in the bathroom and she doesn’t have her phone. What if that was her at the door? I’ve got to find--”

“Shhh, no, Sam,” Schue tried to calm him. “Just sit down, you have to--”

“Tina isn’t here either,” Blaine noted softly. He and Artie shared a significant look. After the way she had stormed off at lunch, Blaine wasn’t even sure if she was planning to come to glee today. She could be anywhere.

“Did you try texting her?” Blaine asked Artie softly, and Artie nodded. “Did she answer you?” Artie shook his head, and Blaine briefly buried his face in his arms to keep himself from screaming at the sheer helplessness he felt. Then he went back to texting, since it was the only thing he could do.

_(2:55) Blaine to Tina: Please answer me. I know you’re still mad at me, but at least let me know that you’re ok_

_(2:57) Blaine to Mom: Still no change. Just sitting tight._

Time slowed. Later Blaine would look at his texting record and see that they were locked down for less than an hour, but at the time it felt like a whole day.

_(3:08) Blaine to Tina: Just tell me you’re ok and I’ll leave you alone if you want me to_

_(3:12) Blaine to Mom: Still no change_

_(3:13) Mom to Blaine: Thanks for telling me_

Unique sat in the corner, cradling Kitty in her lap. The metronome ticked on relentlessly. Artie held up his phone and started making a video.

“Artie what are you doing?”

“If we don’t get out of here people need to see this.”

Blaine pulled his knees closer and buried his face in his arms.

_(3:21) Blaine to Tina:  Please?_

“Does anybody have anything they want to say?” Artie’s voice quivered as he turned the camera to each one of them in turn.

_(3:30) Blaine: Tina?_

* * *

 

When they finally announced the ‘all clear’ Blaine sprinted for the doors. As soon as they had seen the SWAT team in the hallways they had all started texting their parents that they were ok and that it was over. Blaine had texted Tina too, but she still didn’t answer.

He searched through the crowds outside, but all he could see was people pouring out of the school. He asked one of the police officers about it and was told that anyone who had been outside had been put on busses and taken to a secure location.

Blaine could only hope that Tina was one of those people.

* * *

 

It was four hours later when Blaine finally saw his girlfriend. He had called her parents and they told him that she had indeed been bussed away to the rec center on the other side of town. She had called them on one of her friend’s cell phones, because hers had been out of battery. Apparently she had been going out to her car for the charging cord when the gunshot happened, and that was why she had never made it to the choir room.

With a quick text to his mom to let her know (again) that he was fine, and that he was just going to Tina’s house for a while, Blaine knocked on the Cohen-Chang’s front door. It opened almost immediately.

“Blaine!” Tina threw herself into his arms before he could even step across the threshold. “I’m so glad you’re alright.”

“Shh, shh, it’s ok, I’m here,” he soothed, holding her close with one arm and gently smoothing her hair with the other hand. He pressed a little kiss on the top of her head as she buried her face in his shoulder.

He slowly walked them both into the house and carefully closed the door.

“Who’s there?” Mrs. Cohen-Chang called from the next room.

“It’s me, Blaine,” he called back.

“Tina?” her mother asked, poking her head around the corner. Tina’s face hadn’t moved from Blaine’s chest, but Blaine met her mother’s eyes and smiled weakly. Mrs. Cohen-Chang nodded slightly and slipped back out of the room.

“I wanted to be in that choir room with you guys,” Tina mumbled into the fabric of Blaine’s cheerleading uniform.”

“Hey,” Blaine said gently, holding her shoulders and moving her away enough so that he could see her face. “Believe me, you didn’t. It’s the most scared I’ve ever been in my life.”

“Me too, but not because of what was happening, but because I couldn’t get to you or do anything to help you or…” she sniffed hard and wiped at her wet cheek. “Or even say goodbye.”

“Shh, no. Don’t say that.”

“All I could think about was how I hung up on you the other night, and how I shot you down when you tried to apologize.” She took a deep, stuttering breath. “If you died, I didn’t want my last memory to be of us fighting.”

Tina looked up into Blaine’s eyes, carefully put her hands on his cheeks and pulled his face close until they were forehead to forehead and their noses touched. “I’m sorry Blaine. I’m sorry for being so angry and so distant. I was really hurt by what happened at the wedding with you and Kurt, but you’ve apologized. And I’m going to choose to believe you. I don’t want to be fighting. I want to be happy again.” She kissed him softly. “We can be happy, right?”

Blaine nodded and kissed her back, slightly firmer this time, and sliding his arms around her waist as he did so. “Yeah, we can be happy.”

“Good.” She squeezed him quickly around the neck and then just as quickly stepped back. “But right now I need you out of that shirt.”

“What?” Blaine was slightly surprised at the rapid turn of events.

“I got mascara on it when I was crying,” she said, pointing to the smudge on his shoulder. “And that polyester is awful if you don’t get the stain remover on it right away. C’mon,” she grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the back of the house. “We can just put it in the wash right now. I’ve got a big t-shirt you can borrow…” she hesitated and glanced back at him with a gleam in her eye. “...that is if you want to borrow something…”

“Tina…” Blaine was almost surprised at how husky his voice had gotten.

“How about we go up to my room and then decide?” she suggested with a smirk.

Blaine just nodded. Then he took her hand and followed her up the stairs.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to hear Darren Criss sing a Sinatra medley, including a bit from “I’ve Got You Under My Skin,” check out [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyhih9MX4V4)   
>  IGYUMS starts about 6m30s


	8. Caught My Attention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> March (including events from 4x21 and 4x22, and mention of content from 5x03). Some artistic liberties taken with the sequence of events.

Since making up with Tina, Blaine had spent a lot more time with her, and a lot less time with his other friends, including Kurt. Their skype schedule had become almost non-existent, and they only texted once or twice a week instead of every day. Maybe they could have blamed it on Kurt’s busy NYADA schedule, or Blaine being stressed about finishing his senior year, but the truth was that they both knew why they weren’t talking so much. Blaine had made his choice, and he was with Tina now.

Blaine had always been the kind of guy who put 110% of himself into something, and if he was with Tina, he was going to be all in. In the last couple of weeks he had realized how much it was damaging his relationships with both Tina and Kurt for him to be as close to Kurt as he had been. Kurt had assumed that Blaine would dump Tina and take him back; Tina had been hurt to the point that it took a literally life-threatening situation for her to forgive Blaine. Blaine wasn't eschewing Kurt’s friendship entirely, but he also recognized the wisdom of stepping back a little for the sake of everyone involved. He’d never navigated a friendship with an ex before, and it was a little more complicated than he’d anticipated. He wanted to make it work, but not at the expense of his current relationship.

* * *

_ (4:21) Kurt to Blaine: I’m coming to Lima next week _

_ (4:22) Blaine to Kurt: Isn’t it the middle of the semester? _

_ (4:24) Kurt: Yes but I got permission to take a couple of midterms early. And then it’s almost my spring break _

_ (4:25) Kurt: My dad is seeing the oncologist and I want to be there. I know he won’t tell me half of what the doctor says and I want to be able to ask questions _

_ (4:26) Blaine: He seemed well last time I saw him. Carole takes good care of him _

_ (4:28) Kurt: I know she does, but I still just need to be there. I can’t do anything else except be there to hold his hand, so I’m coming _

_ (4:29) Blaine: How long will you be here? _

_ (4:30) Kurt: Nine days _

_ (4:31) Kurt: I thought I’d stick around long enough for Regionals _

Well that was unexpected.

* * *

“I’m so excited that Mercedes is here again to coach us for Regionals,” Tina gushed as they walked out to their cars after school.

Blaine nodded absent-mindedly, then stopped. Tina’s hand was caught in his, so she was jerked to an abrupt halt as well.

“What?”

Blaine looked at her curiously. “What about Mike?”

“What about him?”

“Well I mean I know you didn’t want to work with him for the play last fall, and then you two kind of made up long-distance, but I wasn’t sure how you felt about seeing him again.”

“I don’t know, I hadn’t really thought about it,” Tina said. “But I’m ok. I guess I just needed some time to move on? I don’t know. But it wasn’t hard seeing him today like it was last fall. It was just nice to see my friend. It didn’t hurt anymore.”

Blaine smiled at her. “Ok, well, I need to tell you something.”

“What?”

Blaine wanted to tell her, but he hesitated because he was pretty sure she wasn’t going to like this.

“Blaine, you can tell me! I swear, I won’t get mad.”

“Kurt’s in town too.”

Her brow furrowed. “Why is Kurt here? Is he coaching too?”

“No, his dad has an appointment with the oncologist this week, and he’s staying to see the competition.”

“Oh.” Tina turned away and started walking again. Since their hands were still joined, Blaine followed. “Well, I guess that’s ok. I mean, his family is here. We always knew he’d be back to visit.”

“He just texted me and said that he and Mike and Mercedes are going out for coffee tonight, and he invited me to come.” 

They were standing next to Tina’s car now, and she dropped Blaine’s hand and started searching around in her purse for her car key. “They didn’t invite me.” It wasn’t a question.

“No, but Tina, you’re my girlfriend. You can come with me.”

“I wasn’t invited,” she repeated, as though that made everything obvious. “Do you want to go?” She found the keys and unlocked her car, all without making eye contact with him.

“I want to go, yes. But I won’t if you don’t want me to.”

Tina tossed her bag into the seat and then stood in the opening between the door and the interior of the car. “No, Blaine. I’m not going to tell you what to do and have you resent me for it. You have to make these decisions on your own. I’m your girlfriend, not your mother.”

“Well--”

Tina stared him right in the face. “Just tell me if you want to go.”

“I want to go, I just don't want to make you mad.”

Tina's exasperated exhale was anything but comforting. “So go, you idiot. If we don't trust each other then this relationship isn't worth much anyway. I may not love thinking about you hanging out with Kurt because of what happened last time. But today is a new day. He's still your friend, and I have a huge project for chemistry so it's not like I have time to socialize tonight anyway.”

So Blaine went.

* * *

After Tina had been so reasonable about everything that afternoon, Blaine was a little surprised at the reception he received when he went over to her house later that night. 

Tina invited him up to her room, as usual, where she had textbooks and notebooks strewn about. Her phone sat in the middle of it all, and it seemed fairly evident that she had been paying more attention to it than to the books. 

“What's going on?” Blaine asked, almost scared of the answer but not wanting a repeat of their last fight. He knew he hadn't done anything this time: he'd just had coffee with some friends and talked for a while. 

Wordlessly Tina handed him her phone and pointed to the screen.

_ (5:37) Mercedes to Tina: Aren't you and Blaine together? _

_ (5:38) Tina to Mercedes: yes _

_ (5:38) Tina: I thought I told you. I'm sorry.  _

_ (5:40) Mercedes: no you told me. I just wasn't sure if you were still together.  _

_ (5:41) Mercedes: you might want to talk to your boy, because he and Kurt seemed pretty cozy at The Lima Bean tonight.  _

_(5:43) Mercedes: I don't want to cause trouble. You're all my friends. I just know those two have always had a hard time being platonic, and I don't want you to get hurt. _

Blaine finished reading and handed the phone back to his girlfriend.

“Well?” She prompted. 

“I didn't do anything!”

“Why would Mercedes say this if you didn't do anything? What was going on there, Blaine?!”

“Kurt was really flirty with me.”

“Were you flirty back?”

“I-- I don’t think so?”

Tina was definitely giving him the stink eye now. “You don’t  _ think _ so? Blaine, if you don’t know, who does?”

“I wasn’t trying to be flirty, I swear Tina. I wasn’t. But I think sometimes it just comes out that way, or he takes it that way even if I didn’t mean it.”

“It takes two to tango, Blaine.”

“I wasn’t, I didn’t,” Blaine was getting distressed. “I wouldn’t--”

“Well you did last time, Blaine. So it looks like you  _ would _ . And I want to believe that you didn’t do anything today, but how can I? The last time--”

“Because I love you, that’s why,” Blaine blurted. 

Then he froze.

Tina realized what he’d said at the same time he did, and her eyes went wide and then narrowed shrewdly. “Really? Blaine, do you mean that?”

Blaine honestly hadn’t really thought about it very much. They were dating, they were exclusive, and he definitely cared about her. But was he in love with her?

“Yes,” he decided, reaching for her hands and stroking his thumb across the back of her knuckles. “Yes, Tina, I love you.”

“Blaine,” Tina looked like she was about to cry, and in this long day full of mixed messages, this was the most confusing yet.

“Wait, Tina, what’s wrong?”

Instead of answering she threw herself into his arms and started crying into his shoulder, punctuating the gasps and sobs with kisses to his neck. “Blaine, [kiss] Blaine I didn’t know [kiss] if you’d ever say [kiss] that to me.” She kissed along his jawline and mouthed at his earlobe, and Blaine felt the heat pooling in his pelvis and his jeans getting snug. Without pausing to think about it, Blaine instinctively knew that something significant had shifted between them.

He shifted and pulled her back around so that she was in front of him again, and then sought her lips with his own. Teasing tongues, persistent lips, gently scraping teeth, soft whines of want, and the occasional gasping breath consumed Blaine’s attention as they shuffled across the floor, knocking knees and literally falling onto the bed. This time, when they started to remove each other’s clothing, they didn’t stop until they’d gone all the way. 

Blaine couldn’t have been happier.

* * *

Regionals was amazing. The guys sang a group number with the girls as backup, then the girls sang a song with the guys as backup (it was all much more balanced than the days when Rachel Berry had everything wrapped around her little finger; Blaine took some pride in the part he’d played in that). Blaine sang the final number with Marley, but the whole time he was thinking about Tina.

Tina, his girlfriend. Whom he kissed and hugged and had sex with. Whom he loved. He caught her eye a couple of times during the performance, and neither of them could stop grinning; it wasn’t just show smiles, it was genuine bliss.

Blaine looked out across the audience at all the people, and noticed a few faces that he knew were here to see him: his mom, Sebastian, Kurt… all those people were important to him. All of those people cared about him and while he appreciated their support, he also realized that (for the first time in as long as he could remember) he was not distracted or worried by how any of them were going to respond to what he did. For once, the only opinion Blaine cared about was his own; so long as he was proud of his performance, he would be content.

After the New Directions won the competition everyone returned to the choir room to celebrate, and Mr. Schue and Miss Pillsbury surprised everyone by getting married on the spot. Blaine stood next to Tina, holding her hand, and let his mind wander over the last few weeks. 

Everything was coming together for Blaine. The year may have started off chaotic and difficult, but now it was all falling into place. His classes were going well, the glee club was going to Nationals, he had a great girlfriend, and he was learning how to be just friends with his ex. What more could he ask for?

* * *

Blaine was not expecting to hear from Kurt that weekend, since they’d just seen each other a few days before. Still, when his phone rang a little too early on Sunday morning he barely glanced at the caller ID before answering it. 

“Kurt?”

“Finn’s dead.”

  
  
  



	9. My Head Gets So Confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> April and May (with events from 5x02, 5x03, 5x05, 5x06, and 5x09)

Blaine had never really dealt with death before. His grandfather had died when he was little; he knew the fact but he didn’t remember it so it hadn’t impacted him very much. His great aunt had died when he was in middle school, and he did remember her, but they had not been close (and she always smelled a little weird and gave him soggy, burgundy lipstick-y kisses without asking), so he hadn’t really grieved.

But Finn--

Finn had been his friend. Finn had been his boyfriend’s brother, his best friend’s roommate, and his mentor. Blaine had spent countless hours with Finn both in the choir room and the Hummel-Hudson living room. They had worked out together and watched football together. They had gone to prom together (twice) among dozens of other double dates. They had waited patiently (snacking on popcorn) while their significant others fought melodramatically over which movie everyone should watch.

Finn had been like family. Finn had been more of a brother to Blaine than his biological brother had ever been.

And now he was gone, before he’d had a chance to even do a fraction of what he’d dreamed of. Because death didn’t discriminate by age or talent or whether or not someone was a decent person. It just took people.

Blaine wanted to scream until he was hoarse, and then cry until he fell asleep. He wanted to be alone, and he wanted someone to hold him. He needed to play the same song on repeat for sixteen days and just wallow in his feelings, and he wanted something new that could distract him from his feelings. He wanted to talk about it, and he wanted to talk about something--anything--else.

He wanted to comfort Kurt, but he didn’t know how to (and he was trying to be more careful about personal boundaries and their effects on his various relationships anyway). So he gave Kurt a couple of hugs, and left him with Rachel and his family.

Tina had never been that close to Finn, and she didn’t seem to understand why Blaine’s feelings were so intense.

“I know he was your friend,” she said. “And it’s really sad that he died. But the funeral is over, and we have finals coming up, and you have to move on.”

But Blaine wasn’t sure how.

* * *

 

The end of senior year came, with college applications and AP tests and a thousand and one other things to do. Being busy did help, but in little moments when his mind was elsewhere something would catch him off guard and remind him of Finn like a fist to the gut. It could be a song on the radio, or cheese dripping off the side of a cheeseburger, or walking past the punching bag in the McKinley locker room. One time it was seeing the “Big & Tall” shop in the mall. Sometimes it wasn’t anything at all; he just remembered Finn, and remembered that he wouldn’t see him ever again.

* * *

 

Tina had been excited for Blaine’s NYADA audition, until she found out that he was going to have to go to New York City for it. Because he was going to stay with Kurt and Rachel, and that made her a little uncomfortable.

“But Rachel and Kurt were able to do theirs here. Isn’t there somewhere closer you can do it?”

“My parents don’t want to leave it up to one person; they think I’ll get a better result if I go there where I can have a full panel see my audition,” Blaine explained. “My dad isn’t too happy that I’m auditioning for a school that only does performing arts, but he told me that if I’m going to do it then I should ‘go big or go home.’ And in his own way I know that’s him trying to be supportive of my choice.”

“I guess that’s good…”

“I’m not even sure yet where I want to go to school, or what I want to major in,” Blaine reminded her. “But right now we’re young. This is the time to open doors, not close them. So I want to audition and know if I even have a chance.”

“Of course you’ll get in,” Tina smiled wryly. “You’re amazing. They’d been crazy to not want you. I mean, everybody wants you...” She grinned and popped a quick kiss on his lips.

“I just feel like I need to try everything I can,” Blaine rambled on. “Today I saw someone down the hall in a letterman’s jacket and--the way he was standing--he just reminded me of Finn. And I had the thought ‘we have to make the most of what we have, because we never know what’s coming next.’”

“Well that’s depressing.”

“No, it’s really not.” Blaine insisted. “I mean, after Finn graduated he tried the military and realized that wasn’t for him. And some people might think that’s a failure, but really that was just part of his journey of figuring out who he was. He didn’t know he wanted to be a teacher until he tried it...and then he did try it and realized it made him so happy. It’s a tragedy that he didn’t get to realize that dream, but at least he was able to find his glee, you know? To find the thing that made him truly happy. Like that plaque in the choir room says, glee is about opening yourself up to joy. And he _did_ that.”

Tina was watching him carefully. “So, what are you trying to say?”

“That we have to seize the day, Tina! Live while we’re young! Try things and explore. And it’s ok to make mistakes, or to find out that we don’t like some things. Because at least we are trying and learning from it.”

Blaine hadn’t planned out the explanation. In fact he hadn’t even formulated it all into coherent thought until he was saying it. But as he was talking it had all just made sense to him. And apparently it made sense to Tina too, because she looked thoughtful, and then changed the subject.

“Well since you’re going to be gone for four days, I think we should seize this day by spending the afternoon in your bedroom.” She slowly walked her fingers up his arm and looked up at him through her eyelashes. “Your mom is working today, right?”

Blaine grinned. “Right.”

* * *

 

The trip to New York was...interesting. The audition went well (so far as Blaine could tell), and Rachel introduced him to an absolutely wicked (and wonderful) delicacy known as a cronut. He and Sam went up the Statue of Liberty and to the top of the Empire State Building, and ate foods from street vendors that they couldn’t pronounce the names of.

He had expected to spend more time with Kurt, but Kurt was busy with his internship and classes, and of course his band. Blaine met Elliott, and discovered that he was funny and talented on top of being just as attractive as he looked in Kurt’s facebook photos. Blaine watched Elliott and Kurt interact and couldn’t help feeling a twinge of jealousy, but he was going to be mature about this. He might not be able to control all of his feelings, but he could definitely control what he focused on and what he did about it. So he hushed the negative voices in his head and distracted himself by sending lots of flirty texts (and a few sexts) to his girlfriend.

* * *

 

“He’s got everything going for him,” he tried to explain to Sam when they were flying back to Lima.

“Wha?” Sam asked around a mouthful of pretzels.

“Kurt. He’s got school, and an internship, and his band and friends...he knows what he’s doing with his life. And I am only a few months younger than him but I feel like I have no clue what I’m doing here.”

“You don’t have to plan your whole life in high school,” Sam reminded him.

“No, I know. I know. But sometimes I just wonder if I’m making the right choices--”

“Are you happy?”

“Yes?”

Sam’s face twisted in affectionate frustration. “Don’t ask me, bro. I’m asking you: are you happy? Because there aren’t really right and wrong choices about what to do with your life--except maybe being a drug dealer or something--but the thing that really matters is whether your choices are making you happy.”

Blaine nodded thoughtfully. “You’re right. Why didn’t I think about it that way?”

“Because you’re an idiot,” Sam assured him. “But that’s ok. We all are sometimes.”

* * *

 

Tina was practically shaking with excitement the first time Blaine saw her after he got back. He was about to crack a joke about her being excited to see him when the words exploded out of her.

“I’m valedictorian!”

It took Blaine a moment to register the words as he put his hands around her waist. “What?”

“I got valedictorian!”

He embraced her. “Tina, that’s gre--”

“Well, actually,” she interrupted as they pulled apart and began walking down the hall, arms still around each other’s backs. “My GPA is the same as Artie. So we’re tied for Valedictorian.” She made a pouty face. “Sue says we have to have a speech-off because there can only be one valedictorian.”

“She’s wrong,” Blaine said without hesitation.

“And now I’m all stressed,” Tina continued, as though he hadn’t even spoken. “Because I need to do a good speech, and public speaking isn’t really my strong point. But you’re good at that so maybe you could help me write it?”

“I could; but--”

“Or maybe I should just tell them to give it to Artie. I mean, we’ve both worked really hard all through school, and we’ve both had challenges, but his are so much bigger than mine--”

“Tina!” Blaine stopped her with his hands on both her shoulders. “You don’t have to do the speech-off if you don’t want to.”

“Are you saying I should forfeit? Because I really don’t think--”

“No, I’m saying that Sue is wrong. There is precedent for there to be multiple valedictorians. My mom shared valedictorian with two other people!”

Tina stared for a few moments with her mouth open before she responded. “Was that in Ohio?”

“Yep!” Blaine grinned. “She grew up in Cincinnati.”

“Oh my god,” Tina whispered. “Oh my god,” a little louder. _O_ _h my god!! ”_

Blaine couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.

“We don’t have to fight over it! Everybody wins!” She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him several times: warm and wet and affectionate. “Blaine Anderson, you are the best boyfriend.”

“Well I try…”

* * *

 

Along with all of the other end-of-year events came prom. This year Sue had claimed budget cuts as a reason for combining the proms into one “Brundle Prom," but not even that could dull the anticipation that practically prickled through the hallways like so much static electricity.

Tina was running for Prom Queen, and by her side Blaine was running for King. (He had left that detail out when he told Kurt about their prom plans though… He was pretty sure that Kurt wouldn’t still have residual trauma over his own prom queen experience, but he just didn’t see the need to bring it up.)

Tina had insisted on keeping her prom dress a secret. All she would tell Blaine was that it was “sort of black and white, with grey and silver.” His initial impulse had been to get her corsage in white, since the dress description seemed vague, but then he thought better of it. This was Tina, and she liked to stand out! So he got red roses for her wrist, and kept his own ensemble simple and classic.

When he finally saw [ the dress ](http://41.media.tumblr.com/a448a849fe9446681f29baf7fe1ec6c8/tumblr_msoj1dnAeY1qeds6ko1_r3_500.jpg) on prom night Blaine realized that Tina didn’t need red roses to stand out. Her dress was enormous to the point that she (and the layers and ruffles of her skirt) couldn’t even fit into Blaine’s car. After a good laugh (and maybe a little teasing) Blaine gallantly held open the back door of his car so that she could make use of the width of the full bench seat there. Both Blaine and Tina’s mother had to do some tucking to get all of the fluttering waves of fabric inside the vehicle without getting them caught in the doors, but eventually they were on their way.

The first part of prom was delightful. They danced, they sang, they nibbled on cookies and drank punch, and they kissed in the corner like all the other couples. At one point when Tina was singing (since McKinley had decided that the New Directions should provide the music for every school event) Blaine found himself sitting with Artie.

“Hey, Blaine, I wanted to thank you for making us aware of the multiple-valedictorian option.”

Blaine glanced over at him and smiled. “No problem.”

“I haven’t always been very friendly with you,” Artie continued. “I was pretty disparaging when you started dating Tina...she’s my best friend and I’m a little protective.” He cleared his throat. “And she was my first girlfriend and it’s not easy to get over your first love…”

Blaine smiled wryly. “Tell me about it.”

“But being with a new person doesn’t mean that you have to bury the past. It just means you’re in a new place now…”

“So you and Kitty…?”

Artie grinned. “We’re figuring out the details, but yeah, me and Kitty…”

“You’re such a lady’s man.”

Artie bent double and accented his bow with a hand flourish. They both laughed.

* * *

 

Eventually the time came to crown the prom royalty, and Blaine stood close behind Tina with his arms around her waist and their hands clasped tightly as they waited. Sue opened the envelope and then made several comments about how stupid and meaningless prom royalty titles were. Tina squeezed Blaine’s hand and he squeezed back. In spite of the fact that this school didn’t have a track record of electing couples to be king and queen, Blaine felt that he and Tina had a good chance. They were both well-known and well-liked among the student body through their participation in so many extracurricular groups...

Sue’s voice interrupted his train of thought. “Whatever. Your king is Stoner Brett and your queen--”

Blaine’s mind replayed the last few moments several times. Stoner Brett? Really? What was wrong with this school anyway? He felt Tina shaking in his arms and then his brain caught up with his ears.

“Tina! You won!”

She seemed to be frozen in shock, so he took her hand and led her toward the spotlight, and then quietly faded into the background. Blaine might be feeling a little disappointed, but this was Tina’s moment to shine, and he wasn’t going to get in the way of that.

The applause rose as Tina accepted her crown and flowers. Blaine had been with her for several months now, but he had never seen her so radiant. She deserved a moment like this. (Everyone deserved a moment like this, but Tina had been kept out of the spotlight for so long that Blaine thought she was especially overdue.)

But it was a night for surprises, because the next thing that happened was a bucket-sized slushie being dumped onto Tina’s head. Blaine was in motion almost before the red ice had finished falling: leaping onto the stage to support her. But Tina fled before he could reach her, and Blaine had a sick feeling of deja vu as he followed her out.

He caught up with her in the choir room, where she sat in a red and silvery heap with wet hair flattened against her head and eyeliner smearing down her cheek.

“Tina!”

She turned away. “Leave me alone.”

The rest of the New Directions poured into the room behind him, offering words of comfort before she snapped, “I said, leave me alone. I’m just going to go home.”

“You can’t let the haters win,” Marley said.

“I just wanted to be that girl for one night. And for a few moments I thought maybe I could be. I was so stupid…”

Blaine’s deja vu ended there. Because Kurt may have run out of prom, but when Blaine had suggested leaving Kurt had decided that he wanted to go back in. With Tina everything was different. Blaine knew how much courage it took to walk back into that room, but he also knew how much it would boost her confidence if she did it. So he told her.

“You have two choices, Tina. And whichever one you choose, we will support you. We can drive you home, or we can clean you up, and you can go back out there and _own_ that prom. If you want to be that girl, then go _be_ that girl!”

Everyone else was nodding. The girls all offered to give her their dresses, and she finally took Kitty’s (because Kitty was the only one who had other clothes there at school). Artie brought in a pile of towels, and the girls all took Tina behind the dressing racks to help her get cleaned up and changed. The boys--with nothing else to do--were loitering in the other half of the choir room until Blaine sat at the piano and began to play a familiar tune and get everyone singing.

_Take a sad song and make it better..._

Tina emerged from behind the racks, clean, pink-cheeked, and smiling. Her tiara shone in even the dim lighting, and she looked beautiful. So Blaine told her so, and she smiled even wider.

They walked back to the prom all together. Whatever anyone else might say, the New Directions had each other’s backs: not just as couples, but as a whole group.

And that was when Blaine really understood that line in that play that his English teacher had made such a big deal about. _“_ _We live close together and we live far apart. We all go through the same things--it's all just a different kind of the same thing._ _”_ A few people had conspired to embarrass Tina at her prom; a larger number had conspired to embarrass Kurt at his. But it all came down to being different kinds of the same thing. There would always be people who didn’t fit in with the crowd, and, as Blaine was realizing, he was attracted to those people. Blaine might not be able to fix the larger systemic intolerance, but he could support the people he loved when that intolerance splashed up and hit them in the face.

“Hey look, I can fit in the front seat now!” Tina giggled as they got into Blaine’s car to head home after prom had ended.

“Well that’s a silver lining I suppose,” Blaine said.

“No, my other dress had silver lining, this one’s pink,” Tina teased, and they both laughed. If she could crack jokes about having to change her dress, Blaine knew she was coming out of this whole thing on top. The original dress was in an industrial-sized garbage bag in the trunk, and Tina had said she was planning to try to take it to a dry cleaner to see if they could save it. But Blaine had a feeling that she didn’t really care if they did.

“Sorry about the corsage,” Tina said as he put the car into gear. Blaine glanced over and saw that she was wearing Kitty’s cream-colored roses instead of the red ones he had bought her. “I loved them,” Tina continued. “I really did. But I just couldn’t handle any more red tonight.”

Blaine just shook his head fondly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The triple valedictorian thing actually did happen to my mother, though it wasn’t Ohio.
> 
> The play Blaine refers to at the end is Susan Glaspell’s “Trifles.”
> 
> My thanks to Lin Manuel Miranda and the musical Hamilton, because that soundtrack deserves a lot of the credit for this chapter getting written. I had it on repeat for hours. HOURS.


	10. It Felt So Wrong, It Felt So Right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May (with events from 5x10, 5x11, 5x12, and 5x13)

Blaine had been collecting the envelopes for several weeks now, and he knew that Tina had too. But now they had all arrived: the responses to their college applications. They had decided ages ago that they would open them together, and now, with all the letters in hand, it was time.

“Are you ready?” Blaine asked as they sat at his kitchen table and stared at the stacks of envelopes in front of them.

“Ready as I'll ever be,” Tina said, though her voice trembled a little.

Blaine set his hand on hers comfortingly. “You're going to get in, Tina. I know you will. You're valedictorian!”

“I wasn't yet when I sent in the applications,” she interjected wryly.

“And your GPA is fantastic, and you have all those extracurriculars, plus being an ethnic minority, and a woman. Colleges eat that stuff up.”

“Let's just open them; on the count of three?” Blaine nodded, they each picked up a letter and counted together.

“One, two, three!” Without meaning to they were both holding their breaths, so that the only sound was the tearing and rustling of paper.

“I got Harvard,” Blaine announced, unsurprised. His father and grandfather had gone there and he'd applied for the sake of tradition as much as anything, but he was already pretty sure that pre-med was not the route he wanted to go. But Tina had really wanted to go and they had applied together.

“I...didn't,” Tina breathed. Tears formed in her eyes almost instantaneously and Blaine felt weirdly guilty for his acceptance letter as he put an arm around her and kissed her temple.

“Hey, Tina, it's ok. There are lots of letters here. C’mon, let's open another one.”

Blaine's next letter was from NYU, and, predictably, they had accepted him as well. Tina’s was from Brown, and they'd put her on the waitlist.

They continued opening letters from other prestigious schools...Blaine had one more acceptance (from UCLA--Cooper had insisted that he apply to at least one Californian college) and a couple of rejections. They were dulled by the acceptances he’d already gotten though. Tina, on the other hand, was not faring as well. She had been waitlisted at Columbia and Princeton, but rejected by her other two.

She started breathing rapidly as she looked at the last envelope. Blaine grasped her shaking hand and just held it to try to help her calm down a bit.

“What if they all reject me? I don’t--”

“A waitlist isn’t a rejection, it’s--”

“Don’t patronize me,” she snapped.

Blaine waited a few minutes, but she was still staring at that last envelope as though it might burn her. “Do you want me to open it for--”

“No!” That seemed to snap her out of it. “No, just, give me a minute.”

Blaine nodded, letting go of her hand so that she could tear open the envelope.

“Where is that one from?”

“Berkeley...and I got in!” She jumped up so fast that she knocked over her chair. Blaine was on his feet almost as fast, throwing his arms around her and excitedly jumping with her.

“I knew you would!” Blaine assured her, kissing her a few times to make sure she believed him.

“Ok, your turn,” she insisted, pointing back to the table. “You’ve got one left too.”

Blaine picked it up boldly but then hesitated as he looked at the logo. “This is the one from NYADA.”

“And…?” Tina encouraged.

Blaine carefully slipped his finger into the flap and tore it across. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to go to NYADA, but he desperately wanted the acceptance: to just know that he had been found worthy.

No! (He had to consciously remind himself of his recent epiphany, but it was getting easier.) Whether or not a college accepted him was not an indication of his value as a person (or a scholar or performer). Blaine Anderson was a valuable person no matter which colleges did or didn’t accept him. And even rejections weren’t final--Kurt had showed him that. But something about NYADA still felt like a benchmark of achievement, and Blaine really really hoped--

Tina nudged him and he looked down at the open envelope frozen in his hand. Slowly he pulled out the letter and began to unfold it.

“Oh my god you’re ridiculous, give it here,” Tina demanded, pulling it out of his hands and opening it. Her eyes darted back and forth as she skimmed down the first couple of sentences of the page, then she looked up and met Blaine’s gaze.

“Well?”

“Do you want to read it or should I tell you?”

“Just tell me.”

Tina was clearly trying to keep her face as unemotional as possible, but she knew how much Blaine cared about this letter, and she couldn’t keep it in. The grin burst out of her at the same time as the words. “You got in!”

* * *

 

They tore up and literally burned all of the rejection letters in a metal trash can on Tina’s back porch, then went up to Tina’s bedroom to do homework (but sort of ended up on the bed making out--and making love--instead). So it was some time later when the realization finally hit them.

“You’re probably going to go to New York, aren’t you?” Tina rolled up onto her elbow, pulling the sheet up snugly under her arm to cover her chest (though Blaine wasn’t sure why she bothered, it’s not like there was anything he hadn’t seen under there).

“Yeah,” Blaine stretched a little and cuddled closer to his girlfriend. “I’m not totally set on which school yet, but I’ve been thinking about New York for years, and the door is open so I’m pretty sure I’ll go through it.”

“Berkeley is in California,” Tina pointed out.

“I know…”

“And even if I get into one of the schools where I’m waitlisted, only one of them is in New York…”

“What are you saying?” Blaine had a feeling he knew what she was saying...this conversation was starting to sound very similar to one he’d had with Kurt a year ago.

“I’m just saying that I love you, Blaine, and these last few months have been great, but I don’t think we should try to force this relationship to continue when we are hundreds or thousands of miles apart. Wouldn’t it be better for us to make this choice proactively instead of things exploding painfully later? College is supposed to be a great time to meet people and I don’t want either of us to be held back by a long-distance relationship that--”

“Are you breaking up with me and fantasizing about college boys when we’re naked and afterglowing?"

“Um, no?”

Blaine raised an eyebrow at her. She’d better have a better answer than that!

“I’m just saying maybe we should enjoy these last few weeks we have together, but let things reach their natural conclusion when we graduate...”

A little part of Blaine wanted to argue with her: to tell her that planned, mutually-agreed-upon break ups still hurt, and that he had done that once and didn’t want to do it again thank-you-very-much. But another part of Blaine--a growing part--was agreeing with her.

“I love you Tina--really I do--”

“I know.”

“But I think you’re right.”

She was silent for a few long moments.

“Is it that easy?” she finally asked.

Blaine shrugged. Maybe it was that easy, at least to make the decision. Later on it was going to hurt--and he was pretty sure he’d have his doubts about this decision at some point--but right now it seemed so simple and so obvious.

* * *

 

Once they’d made the decision, things shifted between them. It wasn’t that Blaine cared about Tina any less, or that he was less attracted or less interested in the physical affection, but knowing that their time was limited had a definite effect on them both.

They spent less time together, but it was hard to say whether they were drifting apart or whether they were just busy studying for finals. Blaine spent a lot of time thinking about the colleges that had accepted him (and avoiding bringing it up to Tina, since it was still a sore point for her). He sent the “no thank you” emails to UCLA and Harvard, but still hadn’t made up his mind between NYU and NYADA. He almost called Kurt a few times, or even Cooper, but he always stopped himself. Blaine didn’t need someone else’s opinion or approval to make this decision: he was going to figure out what he wanted most for himself, and do that.

In spite of spending more time apart, Blaine and Tina more or less made up for it when they _were_ together because they couldn’t seem to keep their hands off each other. The next time they had sex Blaine felt a little bit guilty about it. Tina knew him well enough to tell that something was off, and insisted that he tell her why he was upset. When he finally did, she just laughed.

“We’re dating, Blaine. We’ve been having sex for a while, so why is today different?”

“Doesn’t it feel a little bit wrong, since we’ve already decided that we are going to break up after graduation?”

“It felt pretty good to me,” she teased, poking him in the rib.

“You know what I meant.”

Tina scooted back a little and regarded him thoughtfully. “Yeah, I do know what you meant. I hadn’t really thought about it like that. I guess I wanted to make the most of the time we had, because I knew we didn’t have much left. Weren’t you just telling me recently how much you wanted to seize the day and live in the moment and whatever? The way I see it, that’s what we’re doing.”

“Ok.” Blaine still felt a little weird.

“Lots of people have friends with benefits, you know,” Tina continued. “And I think so long as nobody is cheating on anybody, then two consenting adults can do pretty much whatever they want.”

“Oh god we’re adults!” Blaine blanched a little. He had never thought about sex outside of a relationship before, or about friends with benefits, or about all of the implications of being an adult who could legally consent to things.

Tina laughed again, that rich, throaty laugh he had grown so fond of.

“If you’re uncomfortable about it we can stop, obviously...but I had kinda hoped that we wouldn’t…” She looked at him with wide eyes and a pouty lip, and Blaine burst out laughing as well.

“As long as you’re comfortable, I am comfortable,” he assured her with a quick peck.

“You’re sure?”

Blaine nodded. “Yes.”

* * *

 

“We should do a senior lock-in,” Blaine decided. If they were going to live to the fullest during their last days of high school, then a lock-in definitely seemed like a good choice. Tina and Sam were quickly on board, but also gave up quickly when Sue said no.

Blaine, however, was determined to finish his senior year with a bang, and he knew just the person to help him make it happen.

“Hey Artie, do you still have that spare key the custodian gave you for the back door where the ramp is?”

“Obviously,” Artie pretended to be offended. “I still use this building for two more weeks.” He patted his pocket. “I’m not surrendering this key until the last possible moment.”

Blaine smiled. “Perfect. I’m gonna need your help with something.”

* * *

 

Sam had tried to convince Blaine that it would be more exciting to get into the school through the choir room window, but Tina just glared at him and said it was stupid to climb through a window and risk injury when Artie had a perfectly good key for a perfectly good door. Blaine shrugged and gave a smile that clearly said “I’d be with you but I can’t argue against my girlfriend because she would cut me off...” Sam seemed to get the idea because he eventually gave it up in favor of planning other activities for their lock-in.

The other activities proved to be awesome. They poked through all the parts of the school they normally couldn’t. Who knew that Miss Pillsbury had pamphlets about depression and pimples tucked between “So you’re a hag” and “Are you dating a cheating ho?” Or that Principal Sylvester had fourteen different brands of energy shake mixes?

Sam found a jar full of condoms in the nurse’s office and took a whole handful, which he then spent the rest of the night throwing at Blaine and Tina at random moments. They both complained heartily, but Blaine did tuck quite a few into his bag (though he made sure no one saw). Hey, those things weren’t cheap!

They used fire extinguishers to propel themselves in a race down the main hall. Blaine sat on an office chair with Tina in his lap, and Sam gamely sat on Artie’s lap. The race wasn’t even close, with Sam and Artie creaming the other two. Tina blamed their loss on Artie’s superior navigational abilities with his chair, since the office chair wasn’t really meant for distance racing. Artie told her she was just a sore loser. Blaine kissed her better and she decided she had the better end of the deal anyway.

At some point Artie and Sam got into a very intense debate about how The Force worked, and Blaine would have joined in but Tina dragged him away to the custodian’s closet for a little hanky panky. He was sure they’d gotten away with it, but when they tried to come back out they found that the door was stuck. Stuck, apparently, by Sam’s hand; because a few minutes later he opened the door and they were met by their friends’ reproachful faces.

“Wait, wait, don’t tell me,” Artie deadpanned. “Blina, in the closet, with some wood?”

“Hey, it wasn’t--” Blaine started to say, but Sam smacked him soundly on the ass and then sprinted, so Blaine had to chase his bestie down the hall instead of pretending to defend his honor.

Blaine never could get Sam to confess where he found the cheerleader’s uniform, nor how he managed to squeeze into it (Artie’s smirk suggested that he knew, but he wouldn’t tell either), but in a weird way it seemed to suit him. They roller skated around the teacher’s lounge and through the cafeteria. Artie was surprisingly agile with his chair (Blaine didn’t know why he was surprised--Artie had been coordinating with show choir dance choreography for four years in that chair--but his ability to turn on a dime was remarkable.)

* * *

 

After three and a half hours of insanity and fun, Blaine, Tina, Sam, and Artie finally took a break. They were laying on the floor of the astronomy room with their heads together and their legs stretched out opposite directions like a four-pointed star. The planetary models on the ceiling were familiar to all of them, but they were endlessly interesting to stare at anyway. There was something soothing about the pattern and colors of the spheres hanging above them.

“You know what’s weird?” Sam said out of the blue.

“What?” Blaine and Tina asked in unison.

“I have dated--or at least kissed--almost every girl in the New Directions. Except you.” He waved his hand Tina’s direction.

“Nuh-uh,” Blaine said. “You’re not serious.”

“Most of it was sophomore year, when you were still at Dalton,” Sam explained, and Tina was nodding.

“Really?” Blaine rolled over and sat up, followed soon after by the others.

“Yup.”

They sat there in silence for a few long moments, alternately staring at each other and avoiding doing so.

Finally Artie spoke. “I've never kissed a guy. I mean, I'm not into guys, I don't think, but I'm kind of curious…just, you know, if it's different.”

“It is--” Blaine said, but broke off when he saw Tina giving him a dirty look. “Not like that, just, every person is different,” he assured her.

“Soooo…” Sam was the one gutsy enough to follow through. “This is our senior lock-in: we're supposed to do crazy stuff.”

“Like kiss people?” Tina laughed. “That's not crazy.”

“It is if you do one of those three-way kisses like they do in the girls gone wild videos,” Artie said nonchalantly. They'd all heard enough of that kind of comment from him at this point that no one even batted an eye.

“Um,” Blaine looked back and forth between all his companions. “Won't kissing everyone here be a little awkward for the rest of you?”

“It's just kissing,” Tina countered. (Blaine thought of a recent time when ‘just kissing’ hadn't been a ‘just’ to her at all. But tonight was different because they were different, and he understood that.)

“How about we do an anonymous vote,” Tina suggested, pulling a piece of paper and a pen out of a nearby desk. “If everyone votes yes then we all try kissing each other. If anyone votes no--and we won't know who it is so no peer pressure--then we forget about the whole thing.”

“Fine by me.”

“Ok.”

Blaine just smiled at his smart, hot girlfriend.

They tore off pieces of paper, wrote their votes, and dropped them in a little pile on the floor. By unspoken consent, Tina reached out and turned them over one by one.

_Yes_

_Aye_

_Yes_

_Hell yeah_

“Who wrote that one?!” Tina giggled, pointing to the last one. Blaine felt his ears get hot, and Sam and Artie both looked bashful, but no one admitted to it.

“Well then,” Sam announced. “Here’s to making unforgettable memories.” Then he closed his eyes, puckered up, and leaned in.

“Are we supposed to take turns, or all go for it at once?” Blaine asked, caught a little off-guard by how rapidly they had gotten to this point.

“I’m not sure,” Tina said.

“Joo shhh woo,” Sam suggested (without unpuckering and only opening one eye for a moment to glare at them all).

“Somebody just kiss him or I will!” Artie declared, adjusting his posture in his chair so that he could move closer. “Good lord you’re all still a bunch of prudes.”

Blaine scoffed dismissively, then quickly closed his eyes and leaned in. He’d show Artie who wasn’t a prude! He collided with Sam’s and Tina’s mouths at the same time; apparently she’d had the same idea as Blaine, and oh! Well that was something different. Kissing two people at once was logistically weird (too many noses to get a good angle for one thing) but it was also sort of cool. It had the unpredictability and excitement of a first kiss, but without the pressure or performance anxiety. Blaine was just starting to enjoy it when he heard a rapid series of electronic clicks and pulled back to see Artie with his phone out and pointed at them.

“Damn, you guys, that was hot! Can you do it again, only this time Sam move a little to the right because your hair was obscuring--”

“Oh my god Artie,” Tina blurted at the same time as Sam lunged toward their friend, grasping for the phone.

“Oh no you don’t!” Artie squealed, spinning and shooting out of the classroom and off down the hall before Sam had fully gotten himself oriented.

What followed was an epic chase scene involving hollered threats, elaborate promises of confidentiality, and a number of near-accidents as Artie took tight corners or hid and reversed direction while the other three chased him energetically. It was Tina who finally caught up to him, but by then Artie had stashed his phone somewhere and refused to tell (even under threat of extreme tickling), so they gave up and decided to play charades instead.

* * *

 

It was a week later--holed up in a hotel room in LA during Nationals--when Artie finally showed them the photos. They made him swear that he would never share the photos with anyone else, and he promised, but Sam said it wasn’t an official vow unless he put his hand on a Bible or something. They all agreed that that would help, so they scrounged up what they could find in the room (Blaine got some sheet music, Tina dug out one of Artie’s girlie magazines, and Sam grabbed the little Bible from the nightstand) and they put them all in a stack and made Artie put his hand on it and swear. Once that was all done they scooted together and looked through the pictures. Several times. Because Artie had been right: they _were_ pretty hot.

* * *

 

After all the build up, performing at Nationals was incredibly emotional. All of the reminders of Finn were part of it of course, (as well as the actual excitement of performing and the strenuous dancing of their program), but those weren’t the only reasons. Everything about the end of senior year had been emotional, and Blaine knew he wasn’t the only one feeling it. Tina had nearly had a breakdown about it a couple of weeks earlier, and Sam was definitely less chill than usual.

Blaine knew this was his last high school show choir competition, and after so many years of being so focused on show choir, it felt like too much and not enough all at once. Even though he knew he would have other times and places to perform--and probably even to compete--this was the end of a season in his life, and he felt it keenly.

He was singing lead with Tina on the first number, and as much as he loved being able to finally perform with her like this he also felt a certain bittersweetness to it. He kept thinking about how they were going to break up soon. He knew that everything in life ended eventually, but right now it felt like everything was ending all at once, and it was overwhelming. He was sure there were good things in his future, but right now they all felt sort of amorphous and vague compared to all of the very concrete things that were culminating all around him.

When the judges read out the results, and the New Directions came in second, Blaine knew that it meant the end of glee club for everyone, not just the seniors. After everything else he’d been feeling that day, it was too much: he cried.

* * *

 

McKinley High School’s graduation ceremony was, to Blaine’s slight surprise, actually very boring. He’d been to other graduations before of course, and they had always been pretty dull, but he had somehow assumed that it would be different when he was the one in the cap and gown.

He had been completely mistaken.

After Sue gave a too long (though surprisingly genuine) speech, and Tina and Artie each gave shorter (but somehow still dull) speeches, then the band began to play _Pomp and Circumstance_ and everyone lined up. Blaine, as an Anderson, was near the front of the alphabetically-organized line. That meant that instead of waiting backstage (possibly leaning against a wall or even sitting down) he spent the majority of the ceremony standing with the group of new graduates on the stage.

At first he grinned and clapped for each graduate, but after a while he started getting a little distracted. The sea of red mortarboards, tassels, and robes was a little mesmerizing. Twice Blaine had to consciously remind himself to not lock his knees because that could cut off circulation and then he’d fall… (rumor had it that someone had done that at graduation a decade or so ago, and Sam had it on good authority that Artie knew someone who was taking 5:1 odds against it happening this year).

He was so distracted (though he would never admit it) that he actually didn’t notice Tina coming onto the stage until her name was called. Then he whistled and cheered enthusiastically, but he was still slightly surprised when she pushed between the other seniors in the group to get next to him, and nearly bowled him over with a hug.

“Blaine!” she hissed in a stage whisper.

“What?!” her excitement was catching.

“I got in!”

Blaine knew immediately what she meant; he just didn’t know which school. He grabbed her hands. “Where?”

“Brown! I’m going to Brown!”

“That’s only in--”

“Rhode Island!”

“You could visit me in New York!”

“Yeah, or you could visit me in Providence.”

“But there’s so much more to do in New York…”

Tina gave him a diva-grade dirty look. “Just because you’re going to school in a bigger city than I am then I should have to come to you rather than you coming to me? I’m preparing to go to law school, Blaine. You’re probably going to be a performer. Don’t you think my homework might be more vital than yours? I probably won’t be able to spare the time to travel for a visit whereas you…”

And that was the moment when Blaine realized that their impending separation wasn’t actually about geographical distance; it was about them being two people whose goals and dreams didn’t really align past high school. They cared about each other, but their romance was waning into a natural end because their paths no longer overlapped. And in that moment Blaine realized that that was ok. Some relationships are just for a season, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Briefly Blaine wondered how many of those “for a season” relationships it would take before he found a “for a lifetime” one; then he reminded himself that he was only eighteen and that he had years ahead of him for figuring it out. The important thing was to appreciate what he had while he had it, not to fret about what the future might bring.

* * *

 

After the graduation ceremony at the school there were the graduation parties.

Sam (who still lived with the Hudson-Hummels) had a casual backyard barbeque that Burt and Carole had hosted but which the Evans family had all come up for. They did it the same day as graduation because Sam’s dad had to get back to his job in Kentucky, but Blaine could see how proud they were of their oldest son for graduating in spite of all the challenges their family had faced.

Blaine would have been perfectly content to just share Sam’s party, but his parents insisted on a formal weekend affair where they could impress the appropriate social circle with their talented and accomplished younger son. There was a fully catered menu of French crudités and tiny desserts served on elegant china. Blaine didn’t know most of the people (who were business associates or clients of his parents), and he might have been exquisitely bored if it weren’t for the fact that Cooper had flown in, and kept whispering outrageous things in his ear at every opportunity.

“Did you know that Mrs. Lowell has a fake ear? She had horrible chemical burns from a dye job gone wrong and opted to just have the whole thing replaced with cosmetic surgery.”

“Mr. Stevenson there, he can’t turn his neck to the left. He says it’s an old injury from Viet Nam but I know for a fact he never saw action. I am putting my money on it being a failed assassination attempt. What? Nobody likes him, so it’s totally plausible.”

Blaine tried to keep a straight face--he really did--but Cooper kept coming up with new scandals about every guest in the room, and Blaine didn’t know anyone well enough to have a clue whether they were true or complete bunk. So he just kept grinning. All the guests smiled back politely, which made Blaine and Cooper laugh all the more. The brothers might not have a perfect relationship, but it had been getting better these last couple of years, and Blaine was glad he had let Cooper back into his life.

Tina and Artie had a shared graduation party. They had been neighbors since fourth grade, and best friends since fifth, so it only made sense. It had a comfortable feel, with a broad buffet of baby cupcakes, fancy crackers and sparkling punch, but with plastic plates and a decided lack of formalwear. Blaine liked this party much better than his own. Friends, neighbors, and the new graduates’ extended families mingled and made small talk in the family rooms and on the back patios of both homes. The gate between the two backyards was standing open, as it usually did, and guests wandered back and forth freely.

Most of the guests had left, and the few who remained were starting to offer to help clean up, when Tina took Blaine’s hand and pulled him to a secluded place around the side of the house.

For a moment he wondered why, but then he realized.

“So this is it then.”

Tina nodded. “We said until we graduated: school ended four days ago, and we had commencement, and now that the party is done there’s nothing left, so…”

Blaine lifted her hand and kissed it. They both wanted this. They were both ready.

“We’ll still be friends, right?”

“Of course. We were always friends.”

He squeezed her hand. She kissed him softly on the cheek. They embraced and held one another for an immeasurable moment.

And that was it.

* * *

 

_(9:57) Blaine to Kurt: Well it’s done. Me and Tina._

_(9:58) Kurt to Blaine: Are you ok?_

_(9:59) Blaine: yeah_

_(10:00) Blaine: is it bad if I’m not hurting like I thought I would be?_

_(10:01) Blaine: I thought it would be more like last year. With us._

_(10:05) Kurt: Maybe you were more ready to move on this time?_

_(10:06) Blaine: I don’t know._

_(10:07) Blaine: I kinda feel guilty now_

_(10:08) Blaine: And I feel dumb for feeling guilty_

_(10:08) Blaine: Because she’s the one who brought it up first so it’s not like I pressured her or anything_

_(10:09) Kurt: . . ._

_(10:11) Kurt: Do you need to talk about it? Am I a bad friend if I change the subject?_

_(10:12) Blaine: No. Go ahead. I could use a distraction._

_(10:13) Kurt: Well you said you hadn’t decided which school, but that you HAD decided on New York, like we used to talk about..._

_(10:14) Blaine: yeah…_

_(10:15) Kurt: I won’t be hurt or offended if you say no, but I was just wondering if you’d like to move into the loft with Rachel and me._

_(10:15) Kurt: As friends of course. No assumptions or obligations._

_(10:16) Kurt: New York is just a really big place, and it’s nice to have a friend to come home to._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a companion story (Kurt's side of this year). It's called
> 
> [The Edge of Glory](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8608897/chapters/19741144).
> 
> The best way to read the stories is to read this one up through chapter 10 (to where you are right now), then read TEoG all the way through, then come back here and read chapter 11, which is the epilogue.  
> It won't hurt anything if you read this complete story first, but if you want things to be sequential that's how to do it.  
> Enjoy!


	11. Too Good To Deny It (Epilogue)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two Years Later

Blaine slipped the key into the lock of his apartment and gently pushed the door open with his hip, carefully balancing two bags of groceries while trying to not let his school bag slide off his shoulder.

“I’m home!” he called, kicking the door shut behind him.

“Hey,” a familiar voice floated out from somewhere unseen down the hall. 

“I brought home everything to make fettuccine alfredo,” Blaine hollered, setting the bags on the table and starting to empty them.

“Oooo,” a soft voice said almost in his ear, as warm hands slid around his waist and a chin rested on his shoulder. “You are my favorite fiancé.”

“I’d better be your only fiancé!” Blaine shot back playfully, twisting his head to kiss his sweetheart on the mouth.

“Mmmmm, you taste good.”

Blaine smiled. “I love you too, Kurt.”


End file.
